Thursday, February 23, 2017


I like reading zero star restaurant reviews in the New York Times. Just a heads-up for those already yawning at the image below: this will be a bad review. No stars!
This is a 1984-1990 Plymouth Horizon in Daystar Blue Poly. It is very boring.
We can tell it's at least an '84 as the previous years had a grill with no vertical bars in it. After 1984 the designers went home and never returned as this ride saw no changes until it went away.
This is a subcompact car. It is pretty dull.
I can muster up some informative tidbits though. For example this (along with its twin sibling Dodge Omni) was the first front wheel drive vehicle from the Chrysler Corporation. This is rather unimpressive as GM unveiled the FWD Toronado in 1966, but it did beat Ford by a couple years.
I'm always entertained when an owner deems the antiquated anti-theft device The Club necessary to protect an utterly valueless ride. The fact that this is an automatic makes this ride slow. An inline-4 cylinder engine was the only unit available. Even though the horsepower rating was around 84 this car was acceptably peppy with a manual trans.
One curiosity of this car is that the climate controls are located to the left of the steering column as opposed to the center.
Debuting in 1978, this ride helped Chrysler stave off the grim reaper long enough for Iacocca to produce the K-Car. This little hatchback sold extremely well throughout the 1980s. It could fit 4 adults while getting good gas mileage. Yawn.
There were some interesting offshoots of this little bucket like the GLH and turbocharged *GLHS Shelby editions with a racing suspension that was very fast. There were also elongated 2 door hatchbacks called the Plymouth TC-3 and Dodge 024 that look much cooler. The most I can say about this is that it looks to be in good condition.
*The names GLH and GLHS stand for Goes Like Hell and Goes Like Hell Some more. Really. Don't ask.
One notable shortfall for the Horizon/Omni was the crash test rating. It failed both the front and rear tests. I had the misfortune of being a front seat passenger in a bright yellow Dodge Omni that ran off an icy road and into a telephone pole. Like most accidents it seemed to happen in slow motion until the moment of impact when the entire front of the car folded around the pole. There was no mistake that the car was totaled. There was also no mistake that if we were going more than 35 mph we would have been severely injured at the very least. The driver of this crash was then gifted an all original 1968 Chevelle from his aunt. I guess I would've crashed that Omni too!
*For those of you who also relish brutal restaurant reviews this is a good list of them.

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