The First Sign of British Colonialism

THE FIRST SIGN OF BRITISH COLONIALISM
Watch out everybody - this is how it starts! First a Land Rover appears under a leafy tree, innocent enough. Soon they'll be running the Union Jack up the pole and making us pay alms to The Queen! If there was ever a vehicle better suited to worldwide colonization it was probably the elephant. Regardless - behold!

This is a 1989 Land Rover 90 Pickup in some aftermarket blue color (there were colors named Alaskan, Shire, and Ice Blue available but all were more subtle that this rich hue). This was a year before the Defender name was added and the 90 refers to the short wheelbase (the other model was the 4 door 110).

This cool little beach cruiser is one of the most capable off road vehicles in the world. First introduced in 1983, the 90 was the direct descendant of the Rover R01 from 1948. Those Series I, II, and III models of yore were actually the ones that explored the furthest reaches of the British Empire. This ride could follow in its predecessors footsteps, but with radio and air conditioning.

From here you can see the basic Jeep-like simplicity of this truck. The doors easily come off, and the windshield folds forward, making the height of this vehicle the tops of the seats. These white steel wheels are an aftermarket add-on. There were factory steelies available but there were less vent holes cut into them.

I absolutely love this thing!
The above image shows the metal divider between the front and rear halves, which identifies this as the Pickup. When the hardtop is installed the back corners are curved, with small wraparound windows.

With plain plywood lining the rear, a spare tire, and a propane tank this thing looks like it's ready for trails. The gravel guards over the lights are factory. Unlike the leather clad luxury Land Rovers of today these were ready to drive directly from the factory to the heart of a jungle.

Somehow this most rugged of off roaders always looks right at home in even the nicest neighborhoods. The biggest star in Hollywood could roll up to their premier in this ride and people would be vastly more impressed than if they stepped out of the newest Mercedes.

Those little pins on the hood are to mount the spare tire (which would preclude the windshield being able to fold down). In keeping with its bare bones origins origins there are flip out vents under the windshield that are just as basic as they look.

This ride is parked in Brooklyn at the site of the famous Battle of Gowanus from the Revolutionary War. The heroic Maryland 400* regiment suffered devastating losses while staying put to hold off the British troops so Washington could retreat to fight another day. If not for that battle and the bravery of the 400 the outcome of the war might have been different. Beware this first indicator of Colonialism when it reaches your streets! Brexit has the Brits licking their chops looking for fresh land, and the Land Rover is their foot in the door. Beware! Get Maryland on the horn stat!

*Legend has it that the fallen soldiers of the Maryland 400 were unceremoniously buried in a mass grave somewhere in the heart of Gowanus. There is a plaque commemorating one of the possible locations at the corner of 9th Street and 3rd Avenue, next to the American Legion. Unfortunately the area was historically marshland and swamp so pinpointing it has been impossible so far. Combine that with the real estate values and it's doubtful that there will ever be a definitive conclusion as to the location of the final resting place of the 400.