Tuesday, April 18, 2017

There goes the neighborhood

POSSIBLY THE GRUBBIEST CAR I'VE EVER SEEN
I was strolling along next to Prospect Park a few weeks ago when a great dark cloud sucked the sun out of the sky. What wrath was about to befall our great city? Behold the horror of Windsor Terrace!
This is a 1970 Cadillac Sedan DeVille in Bayberry Green. It is in truly horrific condition throughout. Astonishingly it has a matching set of plates and current registration & inspection stickers in the windshield. Who is the mechanic who put their certification on the line in approving this heap?
I can't blame the public for shoving garbage in the mouth of this behemoth.
This is as close as you can get and still imagine this as a usable car.
I started this blog way back when with a 4 door green Cadillac that was beaten almost to death in the East Village, yet somebody kept driving it. I'm going back to my roots with this thing.
AAAAAGGHHH!!!!!
What is this nightmare?! Some lady asked me "Is this your car?" while I was snapping these pics. A small laugh escaped my lips in the "you must be joking" ilk before I managed: "No. NO! My god does anybody actually own this?"
She said yes indeed and it makes it across the street for alternate side parking regulations every week!
I love big old Cadillacs. My grandparents kept a steady supply of these enormous brutes going from their hands down through the family tree when I was young. My father had a '74 Eldorado. I had a '74 Coupe DeVille in high school. Even I can't find a single redeeming quality about this ride.
When you get closer it just gets worse. I think you could actually kick this car to pieces in 10 minutes or so if you didn't mind getting it all over your shoes.
I've been on the receiving end of some highly questionable inspection stickers in the past but this car really takes the cake. If your horn or reverse lights don't work you can always claim they went out that very morning if you get pulled over, especially with an old car. Maybe this would pass in the lights and brakes department but the suspension looks seriously saggy. Mostly though this is a rolling red flag if I ever saw one. If this were a building it would be condemned. 
Let's squint hard for a second and try to look at the original design. These pointed taillights are some of my favorite from Caddy history, second only to the '59 fins a la Ecto-1.
This thing needs a toupee stat. When vinyl roofing has an opening moisture can get underneath and wreak havoc on the metal. There are at least two holes in the roof itself above the passenger side front.
This has the GM Halo version of the vinyl roof where a strip of body colored metal surrounds the edge above the windshield and side windows. Dig the sheer scale of the trunk in this pic!
Looks like she's sporting 3 out of 4 Buick hubcaps from around the same era. I'm a fan of how massive these front bumpers are where they go back far enough to outline the wheel well.
Somewhere behind all that mouth trash lies a 472 V8 good for 375 horsepower from the factory. A showroom stock Coupe de Ville placed 3rd in the real life Cannonball Run with this same engine. It managed the highest overall average speed of 85mph too. These cars can really move despite their size.
Well that's where we'll back away from this frightening vision. People love to bemoan the loss of "old New York" and claim that the more run down version was their favorite. To those folks I suggest they go down to Prospect Park Southwest around 11th Avenue in Windsor Terrace. Cars like this used to be burned out and abandoned all over the city. Enjoy your lunch leaning against a big fender before depositing your litter in the grill for a trip down memory lane.

3 comments:

  1. they must spend half the day moving it across the street,lmao

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  2. I too have stopped to photograph this terrifying heap. Brooklyn and Queens are full of beater Caddys and this might be the worst one. The Impala / Caprice is the only other car I've noticed with such a following among crazy hoarders.

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