I ran across a Faded Player recently . . .

FADED PLAYER

I was walking through the Northern end of Bay Ridge the other day when this well chewed blob of bubble gum made its presence known:

Okay, alright, there was once something to work with here.

This is a 1982 Ford Mustang GT in what might be a very faded Medium Red. The GT had special colors and the Medium Red leaned in this raspberry bubble gum direction but this also might be a flashy custom color from the go-go '80s.

This hood scoop does nothing at all. If the sun weren't so bright you'd see that it's blocked off with a body-colored panel. That Mustang emblem in front of it was a foggy as it looks in this pic.

The GT took over where the Mustang Cobra left off the year before. From '79-'81 the most powerful Mustang engine available was a turbocharged 4 cylinder! The V8 from '80-'81 was a smaller 4.2 liter 255 which got better gas milage than the classic 302 V8 of the previous decade. Our feature car today  brought the return of the famous 5.0 302 V8.

The GT has a great look with a special front spoiler and air dam, that mini faux scoop, and a wing on the rear. This was a cusp model bridging the gap between the first Fox Body Mustangs in '79 and the redesigned next step for the Fox in 1983. After the '83 redesign (more of a minor tinkering than a complete overhaul) this basic design carried all the way through the decade and into the early '90s.

Definitely trust the milage quoted by the seller of every classic car, especially when the dashboard has been completely torn to shreds! This dash has been WORKED; look at the hole smashed into the top in the middle. The dash pad, face, and vents have all been torn out. I can see that this is a stick shift though which makes this one fun car to drive.

Here's the 3/4 view of this hatchback pony. The dimensions are tidy for a rear wheel drive V8 sports car. Beginning in 1983 a convertible would be available for the first time in 9 years. Those are Mustang rims from a slightly newer car.

A single out of state plate is holding this thing down while the cops and tow trucks pass it by. Does this really look like a Vermont car? Can you imagine driving this thing in any amount of snow? Might as well sit on a diner stool and swivel in a circle.

D & D Autoworks had their hand in this beasts creation many moons ago as you can see from the faded lettering next to the trunk lock.

As munchy and weathered as this thing is it is standing up at the proper height with all its lighting and glass intact. Besides scuffs and scrapes there are no major dents to be found, and just a few rust spots are staring to creep.

Well that's where I'll back away from this '80s tough guy vision.

The 5.0 Mustangs of the decade were crazy popular and filled the streets when I was in high school. They remain affordable and are very easy to work on with parts availability second to none. If you want an easy classic to take to shows or just roll around in for summer you could do a lot worse.

Somebody made a deal with the rust gods

CIVIC MINDED

This car should not exist in 2016 Brooklyn. As far as cars go the body on this little grocery getter should have dissolved into rust like a Kleenex tossed into a fire. However there it was in Clinton Hill!

This is a 1982-1983 Honda Civic Wagon in the terrifically yawn-inducing Arctic Silver. By the way the reason I capitalized Wagon is that it's written on the back as a nameplate. I can't remember an instance where an automaker spelled out the body style on the car itself. I mean, isn't it obvious?

This faithful little steed has a 1500cc 4 cylinder engine good for 34mpg in the city and 47mpg on the highway. As great as these numbers are there was a special ultra-efficient model with a 1335cc engine that boasted 41mpg city and a whopping 55mpg on the highway! I always think of these 35 year old marvels when automaker bristle at being forced to coax 30mpg out of their vehicles in 2016.

This was known as the Quint in Japan due to its 5 doors.

The Wagon was front wheel drive while the other Civic body styles remained RWD like ALL Civics going all the way back to 1972*. Other than that this car is a hold over from olden days; the engine breathes through a carburetor, the rear brakes are drums, and there is no power steering.
*Shout out to Cyota Corolla for catching me on that one.

This is the base model, so side trim and a rear wiper are omitted. The price for the base Civic Wagon was just above $6,000 which was more than an average domestic pickup truck, more than the Ford Escort, and just a touch less than a Mustang. What your money got you was a whole lot of car though and legendary reliability.

The CIVIC emblem has always looked a touch evil to me due to it's larger V.

In the era of big American station wagons this car looked diminutive. These days there are smaller cars on the road, but this design can still hold a surprising amount of cargo.

The rear doors on these are larger than the fronts which allows for side loading when the rear seats are folded flat.

We've got local parking stickers going back to 1992 so the fact that there isn't much rust is amazing!

Just the basics; spare tire dumped in the back and a shovel. Check out that terrible aftermarket speaker from the '80s too!
The factory spare tire placement for the Wagon was under the trunk on the outside of the body. There were two small metal arms that held the tire up under the trunk just like if you put your arms out in front of you bent at the elbow palms up. Even on cars as well preserved as this one the metal bars and the screws holding them together would rust out almost immediately.

Nice CLUB bro.
I can't see a radio from this angle but there is a little cubby below the ashtray where I assume it would be. Then again there is that cheesy little speaker in the back. Maybe it's hidden?

The hood is hinged in the front so working on it requires leaning over the fenders. There is plenty of room though since the engine is so diminutive. 

That little bump above the drivers side window is the antenna so this must have had at least the AM.

Somewhere somebody's rocking the faux chrome H from the grill! That and the headlight surround are the only things missing that I can see.

I have a special place in my heart for '70s and '80s Japanese cars. I've owned several, including (very briefly) an '81 Prelude. These are fun when equipped with a manual shift even though they aren't exactly quick. Hats off to the frugal stranger out there still rocking the Civic! 

A Regal Hooptie

THE MOST REGAL OF HOOPTIES

I love this guy! He was very proud of his car, which as you will see is MESSED UP. No matter though, he caught me taking pics of it, grinned ear to ear and made sign language motions saying "go ahead and finish taking pictures of my beautiful car please!". There wasn't any of that pesky English being thrown around, just big smiles and happy gestures. I hereby declare him King of Hoopties for his poise and good humor.

Now let's get on to this dastardly beast of his:

What we have here is a slightly used 1982 Buick Regal 4 door in the jaw-droppingly boring hue Light Sand Gray. When they choose a name like that for a color you know what you're getting; the visual equivalent of Lithium. Brown pinstripes seal the deal.

This is the perfect background wall for this ride! I heard this thing driving earlier (it is LOUD) and turned my head in time to see it swing around a corner and drive away. I was so bummed as I realized I was seeing (and hearing, and smelling) a Hooptie for the ages. Imagine my happiness when I stumbled upon it parked a few blocks later! Take a good look at that hubcap because that's the only one. It's not original though; my best guess it's from a mid to late '90s Mercury Sable.

Man this thing has seen some battles! A look of determination can still be seen through its wounds of which there are many; some homemade mailbox reflector held in place by snip-cut pieces of riveted metal, lightly mashed-in bumper, grill knocked out, so many small scratches, bits of primer, rust, and dents as to be consistently terrible.

I mean really! This thing is like a leering drunk at the bar stumbling around looking for a fight because he lost the last one.

I just like the totality of it. Every inch of this car has evolved into something beyond mere transportation and more towards industrial impressionism.

Alright from this vantage point I can almost see the car as it was meant to be when it was built. By the way, something barely discernible but wholly unique to this model is on display here; the name Regal is attached on to the passenger-side taillight lens itself. This is how it left the factory, and it is the only instance I can think of where an automaker made that decision. Originally there was a bright metal trim piece underneath the taillights and trunk lid, one side of which read Buick, but this has long been sacrificed to the parking gods.

Dammit this is when I know I have a disease because from this angle voices start piping up in my head saying things like "the way the rear edge of the rear wheel well trails off is kinda cool" and "I like how the sharp line of the back window makes a soft angle to become the top of the trunk with another soft angle down the back". This car is a thoroughly used zombie but I can't help digging it! *That sporty aftermarket mirror on the door is not only black, but attached a few inches behind where it ought to be.

Somehow against all odds the hood ornament remains.

At first glance I thought the grill was missing entirely, but it's just laying back, doin' tha Rockaway. "Chrome" of this era is just a shiny veneer that peels and flakes off as you can see under the turn signals. This was the era of cheap materials for sure. This side marker light is just gone completely!

At first I thought those smoky pond water outside headlights were due to age but they might just be some sort of tint job seeing as they're so consistent.
I have to point out that this car has matching plates and valid stickers in the windshield where as most cars in this condition seem to have a single out of state plate thrown on the back. Someone is paying to keep this thing on the road and presumably it passes inspection (though it sounds like the exhaust stops right after the manifold these days). The fact that not only is this being used daily, but proudly by its owner makes me very happy! I feel a bit crummy dissing it so much but it's just asking for it. Regardless, go forth King of Hoopties and spread your message to the people of Brooklyn!