London Tony offers up a beat-down merde gris croûté from across the pond!

SHITROËN PART DEUX

My own brother lives in a lovely little storybook village in London. It's the sort of place where A-list celebrities can stroll to a cafe without being bothered, where rose gardens abound in the front yards of bucolic little homes, and where gas-lit streets can suddenly turn into brick paths with views of the city below. However London is huge, and somewhere along the way he stumbled upon this fallen child star: 

 

Oof. My best guess is that this is a 1988-ish Citroën CX in Gris. Actually we know this is a CX 25 DTR Turbo 2 from the cartoonishly long nameplate on the back. The brochure for this ride back in 1988 stated THE CITROËN CX. ONE OF THE WORLD'S GREAT CARS. Lofty salesmanship to be sure but it was indeed something else when new. For now just dig how long this thing is!

 

The first thing I said when this brick weighed down my inbox was "how did this thing get an MOT?" The MOT stands for Ministry of Transport and it is the equivalent of an automobile safety and emissions inspection in the States. The test is pretty difficult when compared to most countries in that the condition of the body, including spoilers, wings, and any additional doo-dads all needs to be in good shape. The final pass or fail grade is up to the tester and the test is not cheap.
Look at this funky facade; the grill is creased in a way to have a trapezoidal front. The headlight on the right is nicotine stained and generally unhealthy looking. the last time this crumpled body was washed by anything but rainfall was probably the day before it was bought new. 

 

This rather frumpy shooting break (the British term for a station wagon though in its French homeland this would be known as a break-de-chasse, or hunting-break) was the height of technology when it was first introduced in 1974. It was the modern replacement for the iconic DS from the '50s. The most incredible aspect of this design is the Hydro-Pneumatic suspension that was self-leveling. Supposedly the suspension was so effective that bumps and potholes could be seen but not really felt. Rolls-Royce even licensed the suspension design for their Silver Shadow!

The letters CX refer to aerodynamic design (CX is the French equivalent of Cd for drag coefficient according to my friend Wikipedia). One misconception is that the name CX was chosen because it was originally designed to be powered by a rotary engine. However like almost every company that isn't Mazda they couldn't get it right in time and on budget so a traditional inline 4 cylinder was installed under the hood.

I love how they manage to add cool style cues in the era of sharp angles. That crease below the side view mirror fades towards the rear while another emerges above it for a little origami.

 

A hooptie is a hooptie the world over so here's some tape used as a repair. This is particularly troubling because it looks like it was holding the skirt onto the vehicle but the tape is now mostly missing.

One wiper in the front and one in the back. That 4 slot vent on the rear pillar is probably functional as a part of the ventilation system for the passenger compartment. The turbocharger breathes through some small openings on a slight bulge on the hood.

 

The interior is gnarly! We've got paper jammed everywhere, a spoon at the ready, rags tossed about, and a grody blue pillow for the drivers bum. It is a stick shift which means this would've been fun to cruise in when new. These days who knows how much action you'll find if you mash the pedal to the floor.
This is the sort of car you almost never see in the States. Citroëns are always rare on this side of the pond but when you do encounter one is tends to be a tiny 2CV or the classic DS. There was even a Citroën SM from the early '70s powered by a Maserati engine that seems more common than the CX. Regardless the MOT gave this one a stay of execution so if you happen to be walking around London keep your eyes peeled!   

A terrible "Where are they now?" Celebrity sighting

EURO CELEBRITY SIGHTING

On a lovely block in Park Slope I recently found myself taking pictures of a filthy station wagon whose design stems from the '80s. Other than the fact that everyday cars of this era are disappearing fast there isn't much appeal at first glance. However this wagon is slightly different (though not much).

This is a 1990 Chevrolet Celebrity Eurosport wagon in what was formerly White. The Lumina was introduced this year, taking the place of the Celebrity in the Chevy lineup. Only the station wagon remained. How awkward is that? It's like meeting the new guy at work and training him only to find out that he's your replacement!

This grubby wagon pines for soapy water and a hose. It is straight-up, unforgivably FILTHY! If you own a white car you should roll through the automatic car wash annually at least.

The bumper has that deep shoved-in look that cars on the streets of Brooklyn acquire. The grill is painted for 1990 only.

Looking at it today I have to say that the lines aren't bad on this ride. For a station wagon it's not too huge, and the amount of body hanging past the front and rear wheels is proportionate.

At one point way back in 1986 the Eurosport option was added to the Celebrity lineup as an appearance and handling package. The suspension and wheels were upgraded. All badges got this red on black treatment as did the trim. There was another, much rarer VR package for Eurosports that dramatically changed the looks with a full ground effects kit and special colors. For one of the 2 years the VR was available it came with a fully red interior, and I mean RED. The carpets were absurdly plush deep red, as was the dash, seats, door panels. Car & Driver called it the Very Red model.

This is an easy way to pinpoint the age of this ride. The 3.1 Liter engine was introduced in '90, which happened to be the last year for the Celebrity wagon.

That curved tailgate glass helped with the aerodynamics a great deal. Subtle cues like that are signs of what's to come as the automotive world was transitioning from boxy cubes to the rounded blobs of the '90s. This is smack dab in the middle.

I thought this was one of the very last vehicles to offer a backwards-facing third row seat but it turns out they're still making them! Mercedes has one at least.

Turn the key to the left for just the window or right for the whole liftgate. Another shoved-in bumper lending a bit of street cred.

Minivans were in full swing when this rolled off the assembly line and SUVs were just emerging as a large market segment. The days of domestic station wagons was coming to a close.

Here we have Eurosport showing off its special wheels. To me they look a lot like the Olds Cutlass wheels from the late '70s through the late '80s. Another defining feature of the Eurosport is that all of the window trim is blacked out as opposed to faux chrome.

You can't really see it but the 3 spoke steering wheel is a Eurosport special. If you really wanted to sport it up you could get a console with a T handle shifter. I have no idea what happened to the far side of the dash which looks to have a piece of cardboard screwed into it. Originally there was nothing there but an expanse of dash padding. Maybe they went animal-style when replacing the heater core or something and just tore into it? Who knows.

Well that's that. I suppose if I stumbled upon a VR edition Celebrity in decent condition super cheap I'd consider it. Other than that this is the quiet end of a sad era in domestic automotive design. Some celebrities age well, and some don't.

Somebody made a deal with the rust gods

CIVIC MINDED

This car should not exist in 2016 Brooklyn. As far as cars go the body on this little grocery getter should have dissolved into rust like a Kleenex tossed into a fire. However there it was in Clinton Hill!

This is a 1982-1983 Honda Civic Wagon in the terrifically yawn-inducing Arctic Silver. By the way the reason I capitalized Wagon is that it's written on the back as a nameplate. I can't remember an instance where an automaker spelled out the body style on the car itself. I mean, isn't it obvious?

This faithful little steed has a 1500cc 4 cylinder engine good for 34mpg in the city and 47mpg on the highway. As great as these numbers are there was a special ultra-efficient model with a 1335cc engine that boasted 41mpg city and a whopping 55mpg on the highway! I always think of these 35 year old marvels when automaker bristle at being forced to coax 30mpg out of their vehicles in 2016.

This was known as the Quint in Japan due to its 5 doors.

The Wagon was front wheel drive while the other Civic body styles remained RWD like ALL Civics going all the way back to 1972*. Other than that this car is a hold over from olden days; the engine breathes through a carburetor, the rear brakes are drums, and there is no power steering.
*Shout out to Cyota Corolla for catching me on that one.

This is the base model, so side trim and a rear wiper are omitted. The price for the base Civic Wagon was just above $6,000 which was more than an average domestic pickup truck, more than the Ford Escort, and just a touch less than a Mustang. What your money got you was a whole lot of car though and legendary reliability.

The CIVIC emblem has always looked a touch evil to me due to it's larger V.

In the era of big American station wagons this car looked diminutive. These days there are smaller cars on the road, but this design can still hold a surprising amount of cargo.

The rear doors on these are larger than the fronts which allows for side loading when the rear seats are folded flat.

We've got local parking stickers going back to 1992 so the fact that there isn't much rust is amazing!

Just the basics; spare tire dumped in the back and a shovel. Check out that terrible aftermarket speaker from the '80s too!
The factory spare tire placement for the Wagon was under the trunk on the outside of the body. There were two small metal arms that held the tire up under the trunk just like if you put your arms out in front of you bent at the elbow palms up. Even on cars as well preserved as this one the metal bars and the screws holding them together would rust out almost immediately.

Nice CLUB bro.
I can't see a radio from this angle but there is a little cubby below the ashtray where I assume it would be. Then again there is that cheesy little speaker in the back. Maybe it's hidden?

The hood is hinged in the front so working on it requires leaning over the fenders. There is plenty of room though since the engine is so diminutive. 

That little bump above the drivers side window is the antenna so this must have had at least the AM.

Somewhere somebody's rocking the faux chrome H from the grill! That and the headlight surround are the only things missing that I can see.

I have a special place in my heart for '70s and '80s Japanese cars. I've owned several, including (very briefly) an '81 Prelude. These are fun when equipped with a manual shift even though they aren't exactly quick. Hats off to the frugal stranger out there still rocking the Civic! 

Zero to Sixty in NINETEEN SECONDS? Let's call it the Dasher!

WE JAM ECONO

On a nice block in the South Slope area of Brooklyn I recently ran across this little lunchbox:

Yes! This is a 1979 Volkswagen Dasher Station Wagon in either Malaga Red or Indiana Red.

In Europe this model was known as the Passat since its launch in 1973. At that time it was mechanically identical to the Audi 80. As quirky as it looks now this car was one of the most advanced in the world back then.

This is the U.S. spec front end with 4 round headlights. Many parts of the world got one large rectangular headlight on each side. It looks eager to me, ready to dash! The tiny horizontal lines on the turn signal are just my kind of unnecessary detail.

For a 37 year old economy car this design holds up today. Not to mention it's in really spectacular condition overall. The soft downward curve of the hood is enough to differentiate it from the completely squared-off Japanese compacts of '79.

When I peeked inside I realized this really was my type of car because it has the manual transmission! It could be either a 4 or 5 speed. Those peanut butter pleather seats are even in good condition. The dashboard has some of the chintziest faux woodgrain possible but I think it adds to the quirky charm (kind of like that speaker right in the middle of the dash above the glove compartment). That is a tiny Castle Wolfsburg on the steering wheel by the way.

What car this age doesn't have any rust on the quarter panels? Amazing condition.

I'm totally into the practicality of small station wagons. Look at the visibility this thing offers! With such a large amount of glass there are virtually no blind spots.

O.k, let's talk about this for a minute. These days VW + diesel = global scandal. However in the '70s they were becoming known for insane reliability and unheard-of mileage. Reports of 50+mpg were common in diesel Rabbits, and they would run with only standard maintenance up to 300,000 miles! In the heavier Dasher the 48 horsepower motor (!) made it abysmally slow. You bought this to get somewhere at your own pace while filling up once a month.

It's the little details that signal a good design for me, such as the little kick-up at the lower rear edge of the rear side window. Take a look at just how odd the overall shape of this piece of glass is! On its own it looks like a dented rhombus, but on the car it helps it flow.

I'll take this rusty wheel well and rocker as proof that she's never been restored. The screws holding the trim in place over that repair might speak of a bottoming-out or minor accident.

Yeah I'm kind of thinking this was driven over too-high-a-curb at one point because this is really the only damage I can find. Once you let the rust in it creeps along munching the fender.

Woodgrain was mandatory in the '70s. Volkswagen complied in the most subtle way; roof rack woodgrain! What weirdo came up with this extra cost detail? I'll shake their hand!

Chrome on the door handle too; very classy. If you've ever opened the door to a Rolls-Royce it probably feels a bit like this.
*Up close and personal it does seem that there's some heavy makeup on this aging starlet. The orange peel of a so-so repaint is showing through.

This sweet little miser checks off so many marks for me; station wagon, vintage VW, stick shift, boxy '79 design, and old diesel technology. I would absolutely LOVE to own and drive this beast daily. If the owner ever googles their make and model and comes across this post looking to sell hit me up!

I guess yesterday was Mopar Tuesday!

SIX PACK & THREE ROW SEATING

Yesterday was absolutely beautiful so I took a long and ambling bike ride past Coney Island and the Rockaways, around JFK, and all the way out to Rosedale on Long Island. This took me past areas I normally only see from a car window. On North Conduit Ave by the Belt Parkway I ran into this beast:

This is a 1969 Plymouth Road Runner with the 440 V8 and Six Pack carb setup (3 2-barrel carburetors are lurking beneath that hood scoop).

The guy filling up was kind enough not to mind me snapping a couple quick pics. With the side marker lights not being installed (note the rectangular hole behind the bumper edge) I'm guessing this thing is more about drag racing than grocery-getting. I'm willing to bet this guy has another set of wheels for the track, especially with the fully-removeable hood as indicated by the hood pins on all four corners.

Now on to a proper Hooptie, and a massive sled at that!

Just up the street a block or 2 from JFK I ran across this flat black monster! This thing is so huge it deserves its own mailbox.

This is a 1972 Dodge Coronet Station Wagon in all it's spray painted glory. These wagons are getting seriously rare as they're extremely thirsty and impossible to park. I love them though for their muscle car fronts, tall rear quarters, and overall sportiness despite their size. 

By 1972 the Coronet was only available as a wagon and a sedan. This example doesn't seem to have ever had the faux woodgrain panels so prevalent on wagons of this vintage. If it had I would expect to see the chrome trim outlining where it would have been, or at least holes where the trim was installed.

These loop bumpers encasing the grill and lights look great but were unfortunately scrapped when federal safety regulations called for more impact absorbent units the following year.

This thing looks like a leering muppet with its slightly askew googly eyes. Beneath this flat hood lies a V8; either the standard 318 or one of several 400s. I knew someone in high school who had use of his parents immaculate, and very brown, Dodge station wagon with a 440 under the hood (must've been a bit older than this). Despite its gargantuan proportions it was very fast and could lay strips all day. With a gleaming chocolate brown paint job and brown leather interior it was the coolest!

I had to get right in there to show the pointed grill hidden within the loop. If you look at the lower part of the bumper a few inches to this side of the bumper guard you can see a vertical slot. This was the spot where you placed the old school jack for changing a tire. I had this sort of jack on a couple of older cars and they're a bit nerve-wracking to use as the car needs to be on perfectly level ground or it will topple over, ruining the jack in the process. Trust me on this (that's all I'd like to say on the subject).

It manages to come across as a balanced design in my book even though it is enormous.

It's amazing that this thing has a full luggage rack on the roof since the interior is large enough to have a 4x8 sheet of plywood lay flat on the floor. It makes more sense when you look inside and notice that it has the rear-facing 3rd row of seats in the back. You could take a trip with 5 adults, 2 kids, and all the necessary luggage in and on this ride which is somewhat remarkable.

From this angle you can just make out that miniature wing above the rear window. This is a great detail actually since it directs fresh air down across the rear window for when riding with it down. If the wing wasn't there exhaust fumes would fill up the cabin if you had the window down.

The back door is dual-action meaning that you can open it down flat like a tailgate or swing it open to the side like a traditional door depending on which way you turned the handle.

Unfortunately the headliner is giving out on this ride but it does afford us a view of the rear dome light which could be turned on for the rear facing passengers in the far back.

Straight-up dog dish hubcaps perfectly fit the flat black vibe of this roller. Leaf springs give an idea of how old the technology is on wagons of this vintage. The rust is still very fixable as shown here.

The interior is BLUE like really blue. Unfortunately the plastic try-spokes of the steering wheel hasn't aged as well, turning into a faded green over the years. Just in case you forgot it was 1972 they have a faux woodgrain center of the wheel as well as dashboard surround. I wish I knew what the original color of this wagon was because that interior is so intense! Dodge offered amazing colors in '72 including several different greens, Banana Yellow, an array of golds and browns, and Sun Fire Yellow which was closest to chartreuse.

Here's a glimpse of the rear seat in its upright position. When the rear seat wasn't needed it folded down into the well where your legs were meant to go leaving a completely flat cargo area. With the 2nd row folded down it was colossal inside. In this last shot we can also see where they kept the (full size) spare tire; it was tucked into the side panel along the wall.

Well there we have it; a super-rare wagon hidden away by the airport. Hopefully I run across some other wagons now that the nice weather has taken hold, but for now I feel lucky to have even found one.