Kevin McHale's sweet limo? Obviously

KEVIN McHALE'S SWEET LIMO? OBVIOUSLY

Contributor Max recently sent the following pics from the corner of Avenue C and 14th Street in Manhattan. The backdrop of the first pic is the Con Edison facility that found itself completely submerged during Hurricane Sandy, causing everything below 34th Street to be without power for almost a week. This hooptie represents the last remaining damage:

Gawd look at this beat down Frankenstein ride. The grill is red with the blood of its enemies! The bumper has been painted black and fitted with some fog lamps. As far as the flat black sections between the grill and lights and the hood, and along the top of the fenders I can only imagine this has been in some front end collisions and repaired as needed on the cheap. the CELT 32 plate means this is definitely owned by "one of the NBA's 50 greatest players" Kevin McHale of the Boston Celtics. Nobody said life after basketball would be easy, player!

I'm late with the information but this is a 1993/1994 Lincoln Town Car. Anyone who's been anywhere near NYC knows that these were ubiquitous as the T&LC black car limos. While they started out more luxurious than the yellow cabs they were driven just as much, routinely clocking 500,000 miles or more before either being cannibalized for parts or sold at auction. The upside for buying a vehicle like this is that you can get parts anywhere in the city and even major repairs like a transmission change can be done on the spot by dozens of 24/7 taxi repair shops.
Shout-out to the half landau roof and big sunroof! 

The back has been curiously bedazzled with a wolf head above the Flag of Ireland flanked by red stripes on the window. Red tape striping has shown up above the taillights as well as the lower trunk lip. This bumper was also spray painted black (as was the entire lower half of the car it looks like!) except for the bottom which is bright red. Quad exhaust tips and triple antennas round out the mayhem.
Well that's that: a New York City icon repping a Boston icon by way of Ireland by way of New Jersey. If there were ever a hooptie you could park anywhere in the 5 boroughs without worry this is it. Like anything used ruthlessly and discarded they may indeed become rare as time goes by. When was the last time you saw a Checker?

Freak show in the Rockaways

FREAK SHOW IN THE ROCKAWAYS

I was making my way to the beach at Fort Tilden in the Rockaways on a brutally hot day when I happened upon a minuscule car show!

It was a motley lineup to be sure. I only snapped a few pics due to it being a humid 92+ degrees and the beach a few hundred yards away.
On the end of this brace of classics we have a 1961 Chevrolet Impala Bubble Coupe in Twilight Turquoise.
One step closer is a 1958 Ford Ranchero* done up in the sort of Kool Kustom So Cal Hot Rod pinstriping action that made Von Dutch famous. The mini whitewalls and vintage mag rims are a nice touch too.
*The El Camino is by far the most famous car/truck combo but the Ranchero actually beat it to the marketplace by 2 years. Hudson had a truck with the front of a sedan back in the late '30s-'40s but it had a separate bed unlike the integrated Ford & Chevy.

And then there's THIS!
I'm guessing this is a 1928-1931 Ford Model A Club Wagon Woody with a homemade replacement body from the cab back. In addition they mounted the headlights onto what seems to be correct fenders (the headlights would be mounted on a metal bar spanning the space between the fenders in front of the radiator). 

Now that I'm really looking at it it also seems to be widened so perhaps it's all mounted on a more modern chassis? Who knows? I like it in its weird half-finished look. The running boards are just too wide as are the rear fenders for it to be from the era of the front clip. Yes those are tiki torches mounted to the rear corners folks! Fire up some Martin Denny and bug out!

I wanted to drive this rig away with the hat I'd borrowed.

On the other side we have a 1950 Ford Tudor Bullet Nose that calls itself The Jade Grenade. I've always like the center bullet on the grills of the '49 and '50 Fords. The Tudor literally stands for two door (there was a Fordor too). For whatever reason they have rear quarter windows that make them look like 4 door sedans. The next car is much more interesting as far as I'm concerned:

This ferocious beast is a 1970 Buick Electra 225 convertible in rattle can Black. The chrome front bumper is either a primed replacement or the owner just wanted less brightness in the world.

The black front seats and chili pepper hanging from the mirror let everyone know that this ride is no longer the plaything of the gentry, but rather a rough and tumble beach cruiser hell bent on ruining reputations. I would love to fire up the mighty 455 that lies under the hood of this tank and roll through the city at night.
Well there we have it; a slapdash gathering of classics in a hot beach parking lot. Maybe if this was a blog named something like "honoring the timeless classics" (The tag line of Dennis Gage in My Classic Car) I'd feature some of those flashier paint jobs you might've noticed in the lineup. However this is NYCHoopties people so the tattered, battered, duct tape adorned, and spray painted get preferential treatment here. Hope you enjoyed this interlude, now get to the beach stat!

400th post Super Hooptie!

JOSEPH AND THE TECHNICOLOR NIGHTMARE COAT

This is my 400th installment of the Hoopties blog and to commemorate I've selected a real beauty. With any luck I'll be cobbling together posts for another few years but for now get the Vision ready:

Blech!
At some point back in history this was a 1967 Pontiac Catalina in (I think) Montreaux Blue Poly. Throughout the decades it has morphed into something more horrific; a patchwork quilt of childrens nightmares. If you squint just right the paint job looks like a deep blue sky with white puffy clouds and the red streaks of the End Times taking hold. Ladies and gentlemen; this car is the last page of Revelation.

Historical indeed! This thing has eyes dangling in broken sockets and scars all over its face. The admittedly huge bumper has earned its keep with evidence of a mighty uppercut and a massive body blow folding in into the fender.

It wears a Dodge hubcap like a serial killer keeping trophies of its victims. There is no side mirror on the door because who cares? When you pilot this wreck you're living in a post-turn signal and mirror society. If the brake lights work at all it's by sheer accident.

There's patina and then there's THIS.
Pontiac got its name from the war chief Pontiac of the Odawa tribe. He fought against the British occupation of the Great Lakes region and was effective enough that the war is known as Pontiac's War (1763-1766). It began when Chief Pontiac lead 300 warriors to take Fort Detroit by surprise. I don't mean to blaspheme too hard but this car: A. Looks like it was in a war, and B. looks like Detroit was caught by surprise mid-build.

This picture hurts me deeply and I took it. That futuristic green wheel looks as if this slab either traveled to space or back to ancient Egypt and brought back a bronze medallion. Ancient Aliens made this car.
*Big shout out to the person holding the black Krylon can when inspiration struck! Continuing the window line down to the wheel well is sweet. By "wheel well" I mean the rough opening where some bear chewed through the body.

Somebody warn that VW in front of it, or maybe it's too late!

These frowning bulldog jowl taillights are a true favorite of mine, lest I forget to add that I love this car. I distinctly remember trailing behind a blue '68 Bonneville convertible on a Rhode Island highway doing 80mph that had these exact taillights. I fell into a multi-year crush on that year make & model that day.

This massive fastback design would only last a few years in full size GM cars. In 1967 there wasn't a single thought to excess so the fact that this is a 2 door coupe on a gargantuan scale was normal.

It's so hard to look directly at the colors of this thing. I feel like I need to adjust the settings.

I've said it before but this thing is YUGE. From the door forward it looks like any big '60s car. Somehow the sloping rear that goes on forever accentuates the grandeur for me.

Fuzzy dice? Really? Is this set up for cruise night or something?
The ashtray being pulled out I get. Hopefully the driver of this goes through a carton of Winstons just getting to the remaining OTB outposts in New Jersey.
This example is outfitted with a bench seat covered in human skin and a column shift transmission. There was a version of this body style called the 2+2 that had front and rear bucket seats as well as a console. Those are rare and plenty sought after.
*I feel the need to point out that this car does not have 2 factory radios even though it looks it. The climate controls were done in a way that makes them seem identical.

Once the silver bullet has pierced the werewolf heart or a wooden stake has claimed the vampire you get a fleeting glimpse of the original person before they expire. I'm reminded of that from this angle where you can just make out the original Catalina trapped inside. 

I feel like I do this every time I post a Pontiac from the bird beak front era, but here goes:

Head of Pontiac design 1966-1982.

Since this post was short on detail and long on hyperbole let me close out by stating that this car came with either a 400 or 428 V8. The base 400 with 2 barrel was rated at 290 Horsepower, but there were various options that would push the hp as high as 376. Even with 6 adults trapped inside this thing could get up and go with the best of them.
As for me I've somehow never owned a Pontiac even though they are my favorite domestic make (or were but let's not bother with the final decade or so before GM pulled the plug). I even like Pontiacs that I should feel foolish about liking such as the early-to-mid '80s 6000, Sunbird, Astre, and Grand Am. Someday when I have a parking spot in my life I'll unlock that achievement but for now I'll be happy finding things like this wreck in the wild.

The German troll under the bridge

THE GERMAN TROLL UNDER THE BRIDGE

In a fit of insomnia I rode my bike down to Brighton Beach recently at dawn. The sun rising over the wreckage of inner Coney Island was beautiful, and the breeze off the Atlantic fresh and invigorating. Then I turned back under an elevated block of the subway and found this:

Yeesh. I felt like I needed to say "sorry" and close the bathroom door because this thing looks like I walked in on it. How a beautiful car can get to looking so creepy is beyond me.

This is a 1973 Volkswagen Karmann Ghia in what looks to be a repaint of Bright Orange. It also looks like a bum that's getting a bit too close while trying to ask for something.

What happened here is a mystery to me as the engine is in the back. Was it parked facing something that burned? Is this a horrifically done dent repair? Who knows but the effect is icky.
Those nostrils originally had delicate chrome vents in them with 3 horizontal bars. That circle above the damage had the VW emblem at one point and shows the original Amber factory color. 

This car is 100% Beetle under the skin which makes parts and maintenance extremely easy. Basically the Beetle was the people's car and so VW decided to hire coach builder Karmann to design a foxy, sporty iteration to lure customers. Karmann decided to bring Italian design firm Ghia into the mix and thus the name was born.

The first Karmann Ghia was introduced in 1955 and looked very similar to this one. The body panels were hand formed which certainly justified the extra cost. Upon release the Karmann Ghia was a total success, surpassing even the most optimistic projections with 10,000 sold.

Unfortunately someone decided a generic tough guy steering wheel was better than the original. By '73 the factory steering wheel was made of black plastic and wasn't the nicest in VW history but it managed some class for the era. The early wheels are lovely with a thin ceramic rim and chrome horn ring. I can't blame them for the radio replacement or the under dash gauges (no water temp gauge of course). That button between the clock and radio is a cheap horn replacement. I had one just like it in a car where the previous owner replaced the steering wheel with a bro faux job.

These are the flat style hubcaps with castle Wolfsburg in the middle. I've heard these called Porsche caps as well and don't know if they were ever on a VW from the factory.

In front of the rear wheel there is a dark circle. That is the point where you should place the factory jack for lifting the car. So many older VWs are damaged because someone rolls a big floor jack under the car indiscriminately. The thin floors and rockers will buckle easily.

1973 was the first year for these large federally mandated bumpers. Unlike some larger American cars there's just no hiding these and they really take away from the delicate curves.

Herein lies the air cooled 1600 flat 4 hooked up to dual carbs. By '73 there was a decent amount of power for such a light car. They bragged that it was good for 93 mph which is PLENTY for this!

That guy in the distance had a fierce trudge going.
These taillights look pretty good to me, especially when contrasted against the Beetle version of the same vintage. They are larger than the earlier Ghias but they maintain a lovely feminine shape to go with such a voluptuous car. The earliest Ghias are known as Low Lights due to their tiny art deco style lights low on the fenders.

Well that's where I backed away to rejoin the Dawn's Early Light. I would suggest that few cars from 1973 have aged as well as the Karmann Ghia though this is a munchy example. Convertibles were available from 1957 through the end of production in 1974 and they really look great. However finding any VW from this era without debilitating rust is difficult let alone one where the roof is made of cloth. As with any VW if you're curious to shop for one I suggest checking the battery tray, spare tire well, and rocker panels for rust. Don't panic if you see some, but those areas are a good barometer for the overall condition.

Blight as an accidental classic

BLIGHT AS AN ACCIDENTAL CLASSIC

For a car to be officially called a classic it must be either 20 or 25 years old. Some rides are instant classics due to their rarity and/or design. Then there are things like the hooptie below that time defines as classic but the world is collectively waiting for them to just leave the party.

Good grief. What we have here is a 1988-1990 Chevrolet Cavalier in White. YAWN.

This little punk is riddled with damage. The grill is some auto parts store replacement that's committing the crime of being too clean and bright. The side light is long gone. Dents and scratches abound. The paint on the hood looks like it was touched up with White-Out.

This car is standard transportation in every way. 4 door basic, standard wheels, zero chrome, and an utter lack of decals complete the boredom.

Rust is beginning in the strangest way on this ride. It's almost like somebody brushed saltwater above the rear wheel well. The wheel is just sad. For some reason the owner taped a map to the inside of the window. Why?

All the neighbors know this car because it's the worst one on a nice block. Way back when somebody wanted to represent sports radio and a nation with some decals.

Sometimes cars get to a stage in life where they've already had their final trip through the car wash. I believe this Cavalier is in a post washing place in its path.

I knew of one cool Cavalier in my life. It was a 4 door brown (and I mean BROWN) 1985 version with 4 square headlights. What made it unexpectedly cool was that it was a manual transmission. Driving it was actually fun enough that I traded my VW Beetle for the Cavalier for 1 week (back when I was an age where that seemed perfectly normal). The car came with lots of White Zombie tapes.

This has a thoroughly boring inline 4 cylinder engine and is front wheel drive. There was a high performance Z24 version of the Cavalier as well as some sporty 2 door body styles. Then there's this.

Time to back away and wonder why I bothered snapping pics of this slab. I suppose it was the fact that it is 28 or so years old even though it causes zero excitement. When I was in high school in 1990 this would be the equivalent of having a car from 1962. Maybe there are kids today that are fascinated by this utterly ignored ride? Who knows? Eventually anything left on the road from long enough ago becomes somewhat desirable but this still has a ways to go.

Cobblestone appreciation post with bonus Olds

COBBLESTONE APPRECIATION POST WITH BONUS OLDS

I found myself walking through the post apocalyptic wasteland of the soon to be developed Gowanus Canal when I found an equally war torn hooptie:

This is a 1993 Oldsmobile Cutlass Ciera in Medium Garnet Red Poly. My main reason for featuring this ride at all was the awesome setting. 

This is the same make and model the bad guys got as partial kidnapping payment in the movie Fargo (though theirs was an '87).

The Cutlass Ciera was introduced in 1982 and production continued through 1996. It was the top selling Oldsmobile during its entire run. Since the larger Cutlass was a massive hit for Olds they named most of their cars some derivative of the name. At one point in the '80s you could've bought a Cutlass Supreme, Cutlass Ciera, Cutlass Calais, and a Cutlass Cruiser (which was a wagon). They were available in front wheel drive, rear wheel drive, 2 door, 4 door, station wagon, and convertible.

This forlorn bucket is powered by a 3.3 liter Buick V6 good for a yawn-inducing 160 horsepower. Dig that typical-for-the-era paint job with the clear coat peeling off in sheets.

In heavy shadow this car looks perfectly normal. How many cobble stone streets remain in Brooklyn?

We're looking East towards Carrol Gardens in this pic. One day very soon this image will be an historical document with a location unrecognizable due to development.

These cars sold so well that GM didn't really want to change the design. The caveat was that they became known as the quintessential retirement car. Reliability was excellent as every little quirk had been worked out by the time this was built. 

Here is the interior which I would rate as perfectly adequate. If you have no need for excitement and just need transportation and comfort this car was made for you.

This side has seen all the action from dents and scrapes to a very dubious color matching with the touch up paint. 

I was killing a lovely afternoon walking each block that dead-ends at the Gowanus Canal when I saw this. The setting looks more like Detroit or Camden that modern day Brooklyn so I was taken with it. Most of the cobble stone (actually Belgian Block) streets of Dumbo have been sterilized; replaced with uniform paving stones meant to give the impression of the originals (they fail miserably at this). The Belgian granite stones that make up these few remaining holdouts came to NYC as ship ballast in the 1830s! To encounter them today is a rare treat. Viva Gowanus!