By 1985 the Earth had cooled but there were still a few dinaosaurs roaming

BATTLE WAGON WITH MULTIPLE PASSPORTS
I was walking along the borders of gentrification amidst modern glass buildings and old row houses when I stumbled upon this hardy workhorse:

This beast is staring us all down! What we have here is a 1985 Pontiac Parisienne Safari station wagon in White. This is also also a Chevrolet station wagon with a different grill, wheels, and taillights.

The Parisienne was the designation for the top-of-the-line Pontiacs from Canada. Indeed the Parisienne was a version of the Laurentian which, along with the Acadian, produced some vehicles that are both familiar and odd to us in the States. For instance the '60s Acadian from Canada looks just like a Nova but with a different split grill. Only this, the last generation of Parisienne, made it to the States.

This harkens back to a bygone era. The front mounted carbureted V8 engine, rear wheel drive, body on frame technology that makes up this ride shared a dealership floor with more modern front wheel drive, fuel injected, computer controlled modern cars. It seems that American automakers made leaps and bounds in modernization except for one category; the traditional big family wagon.

This is a very big ride. That curved belly hanging under the car between the rear wheel and the back is where the full size spare tire was kept. With the seats folded flat a 4x8 sheet of plywood fits in the back! The fact that someone would need a luggage rack with a car this huge is crazy.

Here we have your classic '80s B.S. faux spoke hubcaps.

Here are the Pontiac-only taillights that separates this model from the Chevy Caprice Classic. To be fair the interior is different between the two brands but not by too much. Tiny shout-out to the body colored insert on the tailgate handle. It's the little things people! Also dig that factory rubber grip on the bumper to keep you steady while you load up the luggage rack with spare gas cans.

The market segment was split between the relatively new minivan and the station wagons. Minivans would win the day but these unapologetically massive wagons were still popular in '85.

To highlight the lack of modernization that went into wagons I'll point out that this body is exactly the same as the 1977 example.

Signs of confusion. This car is from Paris? Canada? Is roaming African somewhere?

The chrome rocker panels. fender trim, and heavy dark window tint are aftermarket customizations. The tint makes sense as you can stash tons of tools or band gear in this thing.

We'll admire the stand-up hood ornament on this period piece before leaving it to roost. After 1986 this full size wagon continued on known simply as Safari before bowing out completely in 1989. For a couple years after the Safari name was added to the much smaller and more modern Pontiac 6000 wagon.
There was to be one last blast for full size V8 rear wheel drive cars from GM between 1991-'96 in the Buick Roadmaster. It was quite the curtain call as the public knew this was it for those traditional dinosaurs and they sold briskly as a result.
Chapeaux à vous safari!

Glatte schwarze Schönheit bereit zu stürzen!

Glatte schwarze Schönheit bereit zu stürzen!

I was sleep walking down my block for some coffee one morning when I noticed this sweet German waiting patiently for its owner:

This is a 1985 Porsche 911 Carrera in Graphite Black Poly. We know it's a Carrera as opposed to the standard 911 because of those clear fog lights mounted into the lower valance under the bumper. This car is totally amazing in its looks and performance! It is also as '80s as cocaine on Wall Street.

This sweet 911 has more in common with the classic VW Beetle than most other cars; they are both powered by air-cooled engines placed in the rear over the drive wheels.

For the 2 year span of 1984-'85 there were no Porsche 930s available in the States. The signature look of the 930 was that huge tail and wide fender flares. To fill this need Porsche offered the M491 option (known in the UK as Supersport and simply Turbo-Look here in the States). That super-badass whale tail means business!

It was early in the morning when this was sitting with its hazards on in front of a hydrant.

Under the center of the wing just above the reflector bar you can just see where it says Turbo in script. These cars lend themselves to upgrading better than most due to the longevity of the basic design so who's to say if it's original? With the Turbo-Look on an actual turbo 911 it's extremely close to a 930. The color, sunroof, and great wheels make this thing about as desirable as it gets.

I didn't want to explain myself to an angry owner so I snapped a very quick pic of the interior.

The oil cooler for the engine is up front which necessitates a lot of oil for the entire system. When you change it you'll need somewhere around 9 and a half quarts!

I detailed cars back in school and as a result got to drive tons of different cars very short distances. The big surprise for me the first time I sat in a 911 was that the clutch pedal doesn't hang from under the dash like most cars, but rather goes forward and down flat to the floor when pressed. Like the Beetle the accelerator and clutch cables run under the floor to the drivetrain in the rear.

The 911 went on in air-cooled style from 1963 to 1998 (obviously with tons of changes along the way). In 1999 Porsche broke the heart of the 911 purist by switching to water cooled engines.

The values of these stalwart 911s have skyrocketed lately which was frankly overdue. These cars combine pure athleticism and engineering with sexy good looks. The top speed of this car when new was around 150mph which puts it in supercar territory. The Lamborghini Countach claimed 183mph as a top speed in '85 but that was a much more expensive, less reliable, and much less comfortable ride. The Lambo would run you $100,000 in '85 while this Porsche was a measly $32,000!
With that we'll leave this for Gordon Gecko to jump in and drive away. Few cars are as immediately recognizable and classic as the 911. If you stumble upon one in decent condition for not too much money I suggest grabbing it quick!

So Kreamy

Special K

First of all I'd like to tip my cap to the owner of this margarine-colored carlet for doing away with all airs by getting the truthiest of license plates. Second of all I would like to thank Big Peet Tamburino of Providence for this mighty submission. Gadzooks!

What we have here is a 1985 Chrysler LeBaron convertible in the nauseatingly rich color Cream. To up the ante the interior color is Palomino Tan and I'm pretty sure that's a Cream Tan colored top as well. I just want to spread this car on toast.

We know it is an '85 because the bars of the grill are broken up into those vertical rectangular shapes while the front of the car is still totally boxy (all Chryslers got a more rounded, aerodynamic facade in '86). Let's take a moment to admire the crystal Pentastar hood ornament. So fancy!

This little droptop is one of the myriad forms that the K-Car took. Chrysler reintroduced this as the first domestically produced convertible in years in 1982; the last American made production convertible previous to this was the '76 Cadillac (yes car fanatics I know that there were Buick and Caddy convertibles before '82 but they were ASC conversions). I briefly had a twin to this car inherited from my father; a BROWN 1986 Dodge 600 convertible. These things drive pretty well actually, powered adequately by a 2.2 Liter 4 cylinder and console mounted 3 speed automatic.

This example is bone stock and totally immaculate! For a 31 year old car this has an excellent chance of winning a trophy at a car show to the chagrin of all the Mustang and Chevelle owners.

Dig that '80s dash; square gauges and a faux brushed-stainless steel square radio. One armrest in the middle is all there is room for. I remember from experience that the power top switch is located down on the console.

*Can I get a shout-out for the fact that the photographers plaid shirt is neatly framed in the drivers side mirror? Amazing!

We we'll just leave this nougat-filled buttercream right here on the streets of Providence. To me these things are looking better every year. Parts are widely available and there were millions of K-Cars built so acquiring and maintaining one ought to be easy. What you would have for your troubles is an efficient, easy to park, reliable convertible. I just about talked myself into looking for one.

One last thing: Bobcat Goldthwait's character Zed drove one in Police Academy 2 Their First Assignment!

Show Car Sunday returns with "The car you can test drive for the rest of your life"

GREENWICH VILLAGE ALFETTA

Italian cars tend to look recognizably Italian much the way American cars look American. The following ride is so Italian it's out of control!

I found this little dart crouched on Greenwich St in Greenwich Village looking like a red arrow. From the color to the exotic, sexy shape you can tell this was built in Italy.

This is a 1985 Alfa Romeo GTV-6 2.5. The name is a mouthful to be sure! It is the high horsepower version of the venerable Alfetta (as it was known in its home country) which was introduced in 1974 and continued through 1987 with only a minor facelift in 1980. The long run without a body change is a tradition in both Italy and the UK where a car might go several decades without a restyle.

The slippery roofline is beautiful on this ride, as is the trapezoidal overall shape. Remember that this thing left Milan during the era of perfectly square cars.

This was basically a factory built hot rod which prompted the print advertising slogan "The car you can test drive for the rest of your life". The larger engine of the full-size Alfa 6 Saloon was installed in this tiny ride, replacing the standard 2.0 liter engine (and a mere 1.6 before that). The motor was too large for the bay so a pronounced hood bulge was fabricated to make room.

Pinning down the date on these rides is almost impossible as this looked exactly the same from '80-'97. However, those particular wheels were standard only for the '85 GTV-6, so assuming they are original (and the car looks to be unchanged from new) then it most likely is. I say most likely because Italian automakers are legendary for their nonchalant record keeping. I read an article once about a guy trying to restore a Fiat X-19 and he couldn't get a single straight answer about how many were built, what year things changed (often midyear with no announcement), or which parts went with which models! The prevailing attitude seemed to be "Yeah we probably built that car, and it's beautiful and fast, so what's the issue?"

It is beautiful though. That side molding jjust under the door handle is a bit of a mystery as I found some Alfas that have it but most don't. Who knows?

The wooden steering wheel is beautiful but not original as far as I can tell. It looks identical to the one from the mid-'70s Alfas that came before the GTV-6. The radio is super duper for 1985 playing all kinds of cassettes and having lots of little buttons.

Just look at this sporty little wedge!

Here you can see the additional engine clearance in the form of a hood bulge. I find the black bit of plastic on the hood confusing because it seems like the location for a hood scoop but it's all sealed up. I tried researching it but the consensus from Alfa collectors is that it was just an '80s styling add-on that served no particular purpose.

One more look at that plastic rectangle on the hood.

One detail that makes this car so much tougher looking than the pre-1980 version is the fact that the chrome has been replaced with blacked-out trim from the factory. The window surrounds, vents under the wipers, and grill would have all been metal or chrome in the '70s but it looks great like this.

A close-up shot of the Speedline "Phone Dial" wheels that mark this as an '85. The funny thing is that these wheels earned their nickname after touch-tone dialing had already taken over.

We'll leave this little red rocket here to hold down its corner of the Village. After the 1987 model year the GTV6 was finally discontinued which left a hole in the Alfa Romeo lineup that wasn't filled until the GTV was released in 1995 (which unfortunately coincided with Alfa Romeo pulling out of the U.S. market). The fact that this design, whose roots hail from 1974, looks as fierce today as it did then is remarkable.