NYC in the '80s & '90s

VINTAGE HACK AND THE FAT BLUE LINE

I was walking along the forlorn stretch of 3rd Ave that languishes in the permanent shadow of the Gowanus Expressway when I fell into a time warp. What year is it anyway?

What we're looking at is a pair of Chevrolet Caprice Classics done up in vintage guise most likely for filming purposes. It's always remarkable when a period piece is being filmed in the city because you might stumble upon a block populated by vehicles from the '60s, '30s, or even the horse and buggy era. For more recent 1980s and 1990s productions these beasts might be rolled out.

This cab looks picture perfect (and I'm sure it is and would stand to serious scrutiny). The military N.Y.C. TAXI stencil on the rear doors and the sweet $1.50 base fare echo the 1987-ish feel. There are no license plates on this ride and I think it would be illegal to attempt registration with that vintage medallion on the hood.

Behold the 305 V8 workhorse looking like it was dusted with cocoa. 

Specifically this is a 1987-1990 Chevrolet Caprice. Previous to '87 the Caprice sported 4 square headlights as opposed to these larger composites. The collector and donk market refers to this era as the Box Chevy because it's squared off completely unlike the following:

Blech!

This bloated bathtub is known as the Beached Whale Chevy to some and Shamu to others thanks to its round appearance. Motor Trend awarded the 1991 Chevy Caprice the Car of the Year award and that's the last positive thing anyone has ever said about it. We know this is a 1991-1992 as those were the two years that had these rear wheel openings. In an immediate response to withering criticism Chevy opted to open the rear wheel wells to mimic the fronts in an attempt to make it look trim.

If this indeed was an NYC cruiser this would've seen some serious action. The Crack Epidemic was still taking its toll and violent crime was at some of the highest levels in history. The police package meant this beast came with the larger 350 V8 engine. In line with the Box Chevy this is known to aftermarket customizers as the Bubble Chevy.

Of course it would be beyond illegal to register a car with red flashing lights on the roof so you know this is strictly a drivable prop.
In the late '90s when I lived in Brooklyn I made a brief attempt to sell my beloved '67 442 convertible. It was pre muscle car craze and these rides weren't terribly valuable. One guy who was interested asked me to drive him to his buddy who he thought might buy it. We drove down to this area in Gowanus and it turned out that the potential buyer ran a movie car company! I got to walk into a massive warehouse bursting at the seams with dusty cars from every era including at least a dozen taxis. They didn't take it after all but the experience was awesome for me regardless. I'm sure these cars are being prepped for that very business.

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

YAWN ON THE HORIZON

I like reading zero star restaurant reviews in the New York Times. Just a heads-up for those already yawning at the image below: this will be a bad review. No stars!

This is a 1984-1990 Plymouth Horizon in Daystar Blue Poly. It is very boring.
We can tell it's at least an '84 as the previous years had a grill with no vertical bars in it. After 1984 the designers went home and never returned as this ride saw no changes until it went away.

This is a subcompact car. It is pretty dull.
I can muster up some informative tidbits though. For example this (along with its twin sibling Dodge Omni) was the first front wheel drive vehicle from the Chrysler Corporation. This is rather unimpressive as GM unveiled the FWD Toronado in 1966, but it did beat Ford by a couple years.

I'm always entertained when an owner deems the antiquated anti-theft device The Club necessary to protect an utterly valueless ride. The fact that this is an automatic makes this ride slow. An inline-4 cylinder engine was the only unit available. Even though the horsepower rating was around 84 this car was acceptably peppy with a manual trans.
One curiosity of this car is that the climate controls are located to the left of the steering column as opposed to the center.

Debuting in 1978, this ride helped Chrysler stave off the grim reaper long enough for Iacocca to produce the K-Car. This little hatchback sold extremely well throughout the 1980s. It could fit 4 adults while getting good gas mileage. Yawn.

There were some interesting offshoots of this little bucket like the GLH and turbocharged *GLHS Shelby editions with a racing suspension that was very fast. There were also elongated 2 door hatchbacks called the Plymouth TC-3 and Dodge 024 that look much cooler. The most I can say about this is that it looks to be in good condition.
*The names GLH and GLHS stand for Goes Like Hell and Goes Like Hell Some more. Really. Don't ask.

One notable shortfall for the Horizon/Omni was the crash test rating. It failed both the front and rear tests. I had the misfortune of being a front seat passenger in a bright yellow Dodge Omni that ran off an icy road and into a telephone pole. Like most accidents it seemed to happen in slow motion until the moment of impact when the entire front of the car folded around the pole. There was no mistake that the car was totaled. There was also no mistake that if we were going more than 35 mph we would have been severely injured at the very least. The driver of this crash was then gifted an all original 1968 Chevelle from his aunt. I guess I would've crashed that Omni too!
*For those of you who also relish brutal restaurant reviews this is a good list of them.

MEN IN BLACK edition Crown Vic

MEN IN BLACK EDITION CROWN VIC

On the tony hills of Park Slope I found this throwback. Once ubiquitous as a fleet vehicle for taxis and cops it is becoming more scarce with every year. I hereby present to you: the 1980s!

This is a 1983 Ford LTD Crown Victoria in Dark Blue Poly. This represented Ford downsizing just in time for the '80s and they did so with huge success. This car is built on the Panther platform which provided such hits as the Lincoln Town Car and the Mercury Grand Marquis. The Panther platform was versatile enough that it lasted from 1978-2011.

This is almost identical to the 1987 version that graced the screen in Men in Black.

Under the skin is 100% old technology; V8 engine up front driving the rear wheels. The 1991 version of this ride with the larger 5.8 liter V8 was the very last American car built with a carbureted engine.

The name Crown Victoria harkens back to the 1955 Ford Fairlane Crown Victoria Skyliner. That original car had a chrome band going over the roof from between the front and rear windows just like this one, but the Skyliner had a glass panel replacing the roof from the band forward to the windshield. As lovely a concept as it was the reality was that you couldn't keep the car cool in summer! It lasted only 2 years but the legacy can be seen in that chrome band.

*If you really want to go back the name Victoria was originally given to a type of horse driven passenger carriage with a half roof from 1870.

These pretty cool turbine-style wheels were available on various Ford and Lincoln products over the years and might just be original to the car. The missing centerpiece would hold the clue as it always contained the logo of the division. 

This little crown lets everyone know you're royalty. 

Oh look at that plush padding on the landau vinyl half-roof! Nothing says "I'm around or past retirement age" like this cushy detail. By the way this is Dark Royal Blue vinyl in faux elk grain.

This is such a straightforward cop-car ride.

You can see the third brake light through the back window in this pic. It wasn't a federal requirement until 1989 so this is an early addition. 

In the 1980s domestic auto design tended to be totally squared off crisp lines. One advantage is that those huge bumpers look like they belong on the car rather than being a late addition.

This car is just a collection of rectangles right down to the taillights.

The chrome trim surrounding the wheel wells and running along the rocker panels denotes a passenger model rather than fleet. 1983 is a strange moment in the history of this name as the LTD was also a smaller car based on the Fox platform (like the '80s Mustangs and Fairmonts). However it was still employed in the stand-alone model shown here. Unlimited limiteds? 

We can see this beast is loaded with options from the split front seat to the cruise control buttons on the steering wheel and power windows. However I can't for the life of me figure out what is coming out of the dash just past the 2 o'clock position on the wheel. Whatever it is is installed where the passenger side center vent opening ought to be. I looked into optional CB placement but those were mounted to the left of the radio.

In addition to serving the police departments of the U.S. these were ultra popular as taxis. Checker stopped production right around when this ride was built and even though they drove side by side for years the yellow fleets eventually became Crown Vics or Chevy Caprices.

Well there we have it; an unlikely survivor on the city streets 33 years after it left Detroit. It's always a bit strange to see the luxury edition of what was mostly a fleet vehicle, and this one hails from a blind spot on the classic car timeline. Some 1983 cars are getting a second look (first generation Iroc Camaros and Knight Rider edition Firebirds) but for the most part people couldn't care less. Due to such ambivalence cars like this are almost always destined for the crusher. Give it another 10 years through and while I doubt it will be very valuable this thing will probably turn heads.

Greenwood box coupe

GREENWOOD BOX COUPE

I was recently walking past the mighty Greenwood Cemetery when I saw this boxy beauty.

This is a 1979 Chevrolet Impala in original two-tone Carmine over Red (with a single Dark Blue fender of course). 

This generation of Impala replaced the massive yachts produced through '76. When this scale arrived in '77 it heralded the direction Domestic cars were headed for the '80s. The 1977 Caprice/Impala line received the Motor Trend Car of the Year award.

This somewhat flimsy looking grill is a surefire way to identify a '79. '78 had only 3 chrome horizontal bars within the surround. In 1980 the entire car was different even though at first glance they look similar.

Drivetrain combinations were many from a baseline 6 cylinder through 305 and 350 V8s. There was even a much maligned Oldsmobile diesel engine for anyone who wanted that sort of thing.

The 2 door coupes from 1977-'79 had this angled rear window foreshadowing the Monte Carlo Aerocoupe of the mid-'80s. Overall I think the design has aged remarkably well. With those huge forward-leaning wheel openings it retains a pretty aggressive stance too.

Two tone wasn't something common in this era of domestic cars but they pushed it in the literature for this generation Caprice & Impala. The brochure shows a very '80s dark red over silver combo.

Boxy was the new look for the decade to come and Chevy got it right on time. The huge federally mandated safety bumpers look alright on such a big slab.

That rear window really makes for a great profile on this ride.

For many years the way to discern an Impala from a lower trim offering was that the Impala had three taillights on each side while the Bel Air or Caprice had two. In '79 each model of this mid-size range had three openings. However Impala had the revers lights in the center of the center lenses while the Caprice had separate rectangular lenses below the taillight cluster.

I really dig the subtle way the rear panel has a crease 1/3rd of the way up where it angles back. The concavity of the tops of the taillights highlight this small detail well.

Purple tint & multiple 6x9s on the back deck mean this is owned and operated by pretty much exactly the sort of dude you're picturing.

Bench seat, crank windows, plain-ass steering wheel with a column shifter; no frills people! The interior is in great shape. I can just about smell that little tree from here.

Nothing like a set of Cragar SS wheels to make your ride look tough.

The orange slotted side marker light is Impala-only as well; Caprice had a wrap-around lens on the corner of the grill surround. The Caprice also had a stand-up hood ornament while the Impala has the bow tie logo in the grill center.

Well that's where we'll leave this Brooklyn tough guy. The 2 years previous to this one are my favorite for the later Impala, if only due to the slightly cleaner grill. Still this era looks great today especially in the 2 door coupe version. The 1980 model year would truly usher in the Box Chevy era which is hugely popular in some circles. This basic design lasted all the way up until the infamous and bulbous "Shamu" or Bubble Chevys of the '90s. Parts couldn't be easier to locate and the usability on a daily basis is great. If you're looking for a cheap way to get into car shows and drive a classic with a full compliment of creature comforts like reliable heat this might be the best bet out there.

Thinking outside of and into the BOX

THINKING OUTSIDE OF AND INTO THE BOX

It was a wet early autumn day last year when I ran across this ride. Believe me I was all the way past it before some quirly little detail caught my eye. Once I was really looking at it I realized this was a very undercover, special beast.

This is a 1987-1990 Chevrolet Caprice Classic in an after market color that is very close to the Medium Gray Poly offered by GM in those years. During the era when this was built it was ubiquitous as police cars and taxicabs. Sales were through the roof for the entire decade! This sure looks like a shiny but common ride at first glance. However it is heavily, if subtly, customized. The grill is aftermarket as it would have had cross hatched chrome lines with Chevrolet written on it originally.

First off check out those door handles; shaved right off! Someone saw fit to convert all 4 door handles to remote controlled poppers. Somewhere (probably in a wheel well) there is a hidden switch for when you either don't have your remote, or the battery is dead in either the car or the fob. All trim has been removed from the car too which was actually quite a lot. At the very least there was once a shiny rocker panel line along the entire bottom of the body as well as one running down the middle of the doors for parking lot dings. Caprice emblems were once on the sail panel behind the rear window.

Not only was the body shaved but the exhaust was re-routed to exit in front of the rear wheels, not to mention that it's now a quad! The wheels are tough enough without much glitz.

The Caprice from this era is referred to as a Box Chevy due to the squared-off dimensions on display here. The year after this ushered in the Bubble Chevy which had a much more rounded body style. Unfortunately for the company the Bubble was also known as Shamu because it looked like a big blob of a whale. This article by the NYTimes is all about that fiasco. 

This model has the terrible distinction of being used by the Beltway Snipers John Allen Mohammad and Lee Boyd Malvo. They used a blue 1990 Caprice with a hole cut in the trunk lid just above the right taillight for the rifle barrel and sight. By laying down they could kill randomly without being seen. Anyone who was alive during that time remembers how truly horrifying the ordeal was and it was by chance that they were spotted sleeping in the car by a passerby and reported.

This looks like the ultimate hitman car. I never would have thought of customizing this body style except for the standard lowrider treatment. The rear tint is seriously blacked-out.

I've got to hand it to the person responsible for this undercover ride. This is way up on the list of cars so plain that you can't really do anything with them, but boy was I wrong. My only hope is that it is a fire-breathing muscle car too but there's no way to tell without seeing under the hood or having it leave you in the dust. Congratulations anonymous Caprice owner on such a cool sleeper.