The First Sign of British Colonialism

THE FIRST SIGN OF BRITISH COLONIALISM
Watch out everybody - this is how it starts! First a Land Rover appears under a leafy tree, innocent enough. Soon they'll be running the Union Jack up the pole and making us pay alms to The Queen! If there was ever a vehicle better suited to worldwide colonization it was probably the elephant. Regardless - behold!

This is a 1989 Land Rover 90 Pickup in some aftermarket blue color (there were colors named Alaskan, Shire, and Ice Blue available but all were more subtle that this rich hue). This was a year before the Defender name was added and the 90 refers to the short wheelbase (the other model was the 4 door 110).

This cool little beach cruiser is one of the most capable off road vehicles in the world. First introduced in 1983, the 90 was the direct descendant of the Rover R01 from 1948. Those Series I, II, and III models of yore were actually the ones that explored the furthest reaches of the British Empire. This ride could follow in its predecessors footsteps, but with radio and air conditioning.

From here you can see the basic Jeep-like simplicity of this truck. The doors easily come off, and the windshield folds forward, making the height of this vehicle the tops of the seats. These white steel wheels are an aftermarket add-on. There were factory steelies available but there were less vent holes cut into them.

I absolutely love this thing!
The above image shows the metal divider between the front and rear halves, which identifies this as the Pickup. When the hardtop is installed the back corners are curved, with small wraparound windows.

With plain plywood lining the rear, a spare tire, and a propane tank this thing looks like it's ready for trails. The gravel guards over the lights are factory. Unlike the leather clad luxury Land Rovers of today these were ready to drive directly from the factory to the heart of a jungle.

Somehow this most rugged of off roaders always looks right at home in even the nicest neighborhoods. The biggest star in Hollywood could roll up to their premier in this ride and people would be vastly more impressed than if they stepped out of the newest Mercedes.

Those little pins on the hood are to mount the spare tire (which would preclude the windshield being able to fold down). In keeping with its bare bones origins origins there are flip out vents under the windshield that are just as basic as they look.

This ride is parked in Brooklyn at the site of the famous Battle of Gowanus from the Revolutionary War. The heroic Maryland 400* regiment suffered devastating losses while staying put to hold off the British troops so Washington could retreat to fight another day. If not for that battle and the bravery of the 400 the outcome of the war might have been different. Beware this first indicator of Colonialism when it reaches your streets! Brexit has the Brits licking their chops looking for fresh land, and the Land Rover is their foot in the door. Beware! Get Maryland on the horn stat!

*Legend has it that the fallen soldiers of the Maryland 400 were unceremoniously buried in a mass grave somewhere in the heart of Gowanus. There is a plaque commemorating one of the possible locations at the corner of 9th Street and 3rd Avenue, next to the American Legion. Unfortunately the area was historically marshland and swamp so pinpointing it has been impossible so far. Combine that with the real estate values and it's doubtful that there will ever be a definitive conclusion as to the location of the final resting place of the 400.

The perfect device for colonial imperialism

THE PERFECT DEVICE FOR COLONIAL IMPERIALISM

I was walking through Windsor Terrace recently when something appeared that seemed as foreign and out of place as the Coke bottle in The Gods Must be Crazy. Behold!

This is a 1978 Land Rover Defender 109 in what I believe is Spring Green (I think British Racing Green is a little deeper in an evergreen sense as opposed to this hue).

 Make no mistake - even though this is parked in a lovely neighborhood this beast is safari-ready. It is positively dripping with aftermarket heavy duty upgrades.

This is the long wheelbase station wagon that is really just a few steps away from its prehistoric ancestors. The Defender was originally launched in 1948 and ran all the way through the 2015 model year. While there were plenty of changes and series over the decades it remained remarkably true to its initial design over those 67 years.

You've got to give it up for the full external roll cage on this thing! In addition it has a roof-height snorkel for the engine. Everything about the presentation says it's ready and capable for serious off road adventures. How it got to Brooklyn is a mystery to me. Maybe it drove along the bottom of the ocean?

I have a close friend who drives a newer Discovery with these same wheels. He calls them the "U.N. wheels" because Land Rovers stationed around the world tend to sport these no nonsense white steelies.

I can't think of a single custom touch that this isn't already outfitted with. That spotlight on the roof even has a protective metal screen over it as if this were exploring a rugged continent. 

 From this angle it's plain to see how utilitarian these older Defenders are. Exposed hinges, simple metal body panels, big expanses of flat glass, etc. While this company went on to produce luxury SUVs and crossovers this vehicle harkens back to the need to traverse faraway lands with no paved roads. I'm sure this is cold in winter, hot in summer, and pretty loud and rattly on bumpy ground. It is 100% honest is what I'm trying to say.

Well that's where I'll leave this conquerer to enjoy semi-retirement. The fact that the license plate is mashed up under the bumper alludes to possible adventure so hopefully it's not retired at all. Either way I'm impressed and somewhat in awe of this hardy British beast.

Hilariously out of place Baja

BAJA!

I truly have no recollection of where this car was located. It is definitely in NYC somewhere, most likely deep in Brooklyn where free standing homes with big lawns exist (Midwood? Marine Park?). Regardless somewhere amidst this beatific Americana setting was this misplaced lump:

In California? Sure. Way out on Long Island? Possibly. But a Baja Beetle on the city streets? Unprecedented!

For those of you who don't know this is a Volkswagen Beetle with an aftermarket dune buggy conversion kit called the Baja. These were super popular for decades but like the classic custom vans of the '70s they are fading fast.

With the modern cars around it this thing looks positively prehistoric! The look is enhanced by the fact that it seems to have no color at all. With the exception of the front wheels and turn signals it looks like a black and white photograph.
Pinpointing the year of a Beetle can be tough regardless, and this one has had half of its body replaced with components from the kit. My best guess is that this started life as a 1971 or so Super Beetle due to the slightly longer hood, crescent shaped vent behind the rear quarter windows, and front turn signal size.

The Baja conversion consisted of replacement hood, fenders, engine cover, and that front valance below the hood. While there were many kits to choose from there were really only 2 distinct styles; Wide Eye (pictured here with the headlights on the fenders), or Narrow Eye (where both headlights would be bunched together on the front between the fenders).

This car looks like you just woke it up.
Beetles were remarkably capable off-roaders from the factory due to the high ground clearance, flat floor, and engine located over the drive wheels. The Baja kit was named after the Mexican Baja 1,000 race which pitted all sorts of trucks, Jeeps, and motorcycles on a brutally rugged rock and dirt course to the Southern tip of the Peninsula. Beetles have always competed in it, with success. Perhaps the most astonishing thing about the Baja race is known as Class 11. To enter the Baja in Class 11 you must race a stock VW Type 1 Beetle with no modifications except for adding a roll bar and adding ground clearance. No Super Beetles are allowed. You must use the stock drum brakes! The engine and transmission have to be the equivalent of a standard 1968 Beetle too. No wonder they named these kits after the race.

At some point a visor was added over the windshield of this beast. On display here is one of the greatest advances in VW Beetle history; the exterior fuel filler door! From the early split windows of the '40s all the way through the late '60s you had to pop the hood to fill 'er up. It's the small things folks.
Those wheels are vintage Wagon Wheels from the '70s.

Lowe's emblem on the left fender? Really dude?
The taillights have been replaced with pointy rocket lenses from a '59 Cadillac which, if original, means this conversion happened a long time ago. The engine looks to be a standard air cooled Beetle unit, with what looks to be modified Cherry Bomb mufflers welded to a stock exhaust. The bumper is appropriately homemade looking, as is the trailer hitch. I suppose towing a very small boat isn't out of the question even for a Beetle.

Well there you have it; a funky looking hybrid kit car ready for the dunes. The best thing about a Beetle is that absolutely every single component is still available for it and probably will be forever. If you find something like this in a barn where it's been sitting for 30 years you can get it running in a day or 2. Complete engines are not only available, but take about an hour to install. Seeing this one made me realize how long it had been since I last encountered one and I have to say it's a pretty cool summer ride.