Monday, May 8, 2017

The automotive equivalent of Grey Gardens

I was walking along the border of Greenwood Cemetery where flocks of wild parakeets chatter overhead when something about an otherwise forgettable vehicle caught my eye. It seemed a little too rounded around the edges . . .
What we have here is a 1999-2002 Land Rover Discovery II in Chawton White. The bumper looks a little soft around the corners. Could it be my old nemesis? It is!
Ladies and gentlemen there comes a time in the life of some vehicle owners when, despite the advice of their best friends, they turn to tape. It's been a while since I featured a good tape repair and believe me this has plenty! Notice the care and thought that went into this corner: black tape for the black parts but they've left the grill openings and logo clear. Yellowish tape over the turn signals and clear tape to hold it all together. Who needs a Pick-n-Pull when True Value is just down the street?
Once it starts it's like mold spreading over the entire area. If anyone reading this has some white tape please send it to me and I will leave it on the windshield of this Brit.
Tape addiction is usually a sign of other personality traits not all of which I feel proud to point out. 
From this angle you can still see the breeding of this tony ride. When new this truck cost around $35,000 (which has the buying power of $50,000 today). This was not a cheap car! Stalwart and proud was the Land Rover when new.
Uh oh. Looks a little lived in from here. The old Coca-Cola/coffee/pineapple juice and sandwich combo. Super British.
Unfortunately this is a case of Hoarders: Automotive Edition. I do feel a little shameful writing these posts because there's always going to be somebody pointing out (rightfully so) that I'm mocking either mental illness or somebody's lowest point. You know what though? It's parked on the street so I'm gonna let 'em have it. See you in Hell everybody!
*Shout out to the blue tape that just wanted to join the party.
This person must drive by touch because every bit is currently held on with tape. There's no adjusting that mirror from here on out. I wonder if the window can even go down? It seems to be taped in place.
Alright this thing is messed up. It looks a little like the aftermath of Woodstock
The skylights on the rear of the roof always looks pretty cool to me on these rides. Blue tape on the roof, black tape on the taillight, Encyclopedia Britannica in the back.
We've got more turn signal tape restoration happening here. It seems the plate was even taped on at some point. Single out of state plate to keep it ticket proof.
This side lower light is brutal. Overall this truck isn't in bad shape really; few scuffs and no rust to speak of. It could probably be put right without too much trouble.
OH YEAH the grandaddy of all tape repairs; FULL WINDOW RE-CREATION!
From this angle I see that the rear door vent window has been replaced with black tape too.
These trucks are tough and capable, if somewhat pricey to maintain. There's definitely a story behind this vehicle because it's like seeing a former member of high society begging for change. If you haven't seen the original Grey Gardens I highly recommend it!
In fact
here's the whole movie just sitting on Youtube. Have at it!

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