Thursday, June 12, 2014

L.A. Face with an Oakland Booty

Some Facelifts are More Successful Than Others
Or should I say Full Face Transplants; a still-new and radical surgery literally giving hope back to those unfortunate enough to be a candidate? Back when this 'bird was coming up someone attempted one but it's not much more convincing than that Boardwalk Empire guy with the cheek prosthetic. 
What we have here is a 1988 Ford Thunderbird in 2-tone Medium Scarlet/Sand Beige. The 5.0-edition Mustang wheels make sense as underneath this Nascar-slippery body is the same Fox-body chassis as the pony car. Still, what is it about T-birds that makes them the most horrifically neglected cars on the street?
Look at this sad foaming-at-the-mouth shark face with cataracts in both eyes! Thunderbirds just seem to be driven harder and parked in tougher neighborhoods or something, because this is the 3rd generation I've featured on this blog and easily the 2nd worst one condition-wise. 
That face though is the confusing part of correctly identifying this car though because it's the special aerodynamic nose without a grill built into it that was only offered on the Turbo Coupe, which was a turbocharged version of the T-bird. After scouring the car for Turbo Coupe queues I noticed that the 2-tone just dies at the headlight. This is a regular Thunderbird that someone tacked the fancy front onto. 
Not that it's looking too fancy now! Foggy lights, shattered signal, hood ajar, and the sort of bumper/license plate condition you expect on a taxi that's about to retire. It has a chrome driver's side mirror though, so pardon me!
We've got another tape fanatic on our hands! The taillights have been reduced to red shapes squinting through the wrap of a mummy. Even the door handle is messed up as if someone was SO EAGER to get in this sweet ride that they forgot their own strength.
Those wipers look like they're stuck in that unsure position forever, not just because the car conked out while they were in mid-arc. From this angle you can see the defining characteristic of this 1987/1988 only body; the windows were flush with the overall shape, helping this era Thunderbird win the pole position at the Indy 500. For now it's just holding down a bag of Cheetos on the edge of the gentrification.

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