Fratzogs by Night

Fratzogs by Night

I've had a list of drafts from well over a year ago sitting in the queue waiting for me to dust off this blog. Some of the photos are 2 years old or more and generations of phones ago. The pics below I believe were sent to me from Robin of Omaha. Behold the nighttime Hooptie!

This is a 1965 Dodge Coronet 440 in Medium Turquoise Poly. It's easy to pinpoint the '65 because both the year before and the year after this one had a center divider splitting the grill.
There are a couple details I love on the front of this ride. First are the Fratzogs (a made-up word for the triangular symbol used by Mopar through the '60s) mounted above the outer headlights. The second detail is that only the section between the inboard headlights is actually a functioning grill. All the small slat openings around the headlights are black paint!

Most Coronet 440s were equipped with V8 engines. The base was a 2 barrel 318, but you had the option of a 361, 383, or the mighty 426 Hemi for the first time. Customers who chose the Hemi had the option of dual 4 barrel carbs and a floor mounted 4 speed manual! Chances are that this ride has the pushbutton automatic mounted on the dash next to the radio.

This handsome piece of side trim was only on the mid level 440 series. The base model had a chrome line that ran lower along the body from the rear of the front wheel opening to the back of the car. The top of the heap 500 had a thin chrome spear along the full length of the car with 3 colored rectangles at the front. These are the correct, original hubcaps for the car by the way.

It's tough to see in the above dark lighting but this is equipped with reverse lights. They weren't standard on the base Coronet but they were included on the 440.

We'll leave this beast with an admiring view of the gargantuan trunk.
4 door sedans are the least sexy, least valuable classics to get, but they tend to live gentler lives. This is the quintessential family car, possibly surviving because some nice old lady garaged it for decades. Mopars from the 1960s are famously reliable and easy to work on. If you run across one of these in good condition for cheap you might have the perfect classic daily driver on your hands.

Type-10, or "A Cadillac Cimarron with Cloth Seats

Type-10, or "A Cadillac Cimarron with Cloth Seats"
Sometimes the rarest classic car on the block is a well kept secret hiding in plain sight. Even calling the gray doorstop below a "classic car" would get the blood up of many collectors and aficionados my age. Regardless, behold the tiniest patch of fog in Bay Ridge!

This is a 1987 Chevrolet Cavalier Type-10 in one of five colors GM called Silver Poly that year (itself a damning testament to the automotive landscape of 1987). This is the last year of the first generation which debuted in 1982. As a reliable and efficient front wheel drive compact the Cavalier was popular for its entire run through 2005.

Type-10 was the name given to all 2 door Cavaliers, which included a notchback as well as this hatchback. 4 door sedan and wagon versions vastly outnumbered the Type-10s which makes this a rare beast indeed. As an example just over 6,000 of these were built in '87 compared to over 150,000 of the 4 door. I have a friend who owned a 4 door BROWN Cavalier with a manual transmission back in the day that I loved. At the time I had my '63 Beetle and we even traded cars for a week while living 2 states away. There was something so unabashedly uncool about a 1980s compact sedan that the stick shift made it a secret weapon: the ultimate 90 horsepower sleeper, complete with White Zombie stickers on the dash.
I'd like to point out that this car is missing its front passenger side hubcap. Unlike most, this is literally a small cap to cover the wheel hub itself.

The shape harkens back to the X-Body (Citation, Phoenix) 4 door that bowed out in 1985. This ride is built on the J-Body platform, which brought you such hits as the Pontiac Sunfire, Olds Firenza, and Buick Skyhawk. The Skyhawk and Sunfire offered bizarre power headlights in the form of little doors that lifted up like eyelids while the headlights stayed in place. The Pontiac power headlights were never fully closed, with the lower thirds of the bulbs visible under the doors giving a sleazy, heavy-lidded look.

You can't tell me that this rear end doesn't look like the fabled DeLorean! The gridded multi colored taillights are very similar, as is the long sloping rear window. Those quarter windows have a small black dot near the top edge. This is the pop-out mechanism for ventilation, otherwise this thing would fishbowl so bad in the sun.

For anyone that wants to try and date one of these they might run across in the wild, the word Chevrolet was on the right side of the rear fascia until 1986. The CS designation is a trim level one baby step above the base model. There was a much faster sport version called Z24 starting in 1986 originally only for the Type-10s.

From this angle you can actually see some styling effort. The lower edge of the rear window is inset into the body, and a faux wing indentation above the taillights. It's not much but it's something!

Cavalier is such a funny name for such low-hanging fruit. The main definitions are offhand, indifferent, casual, and dismissive (which sums up this owners parking style). Chevy had a cavalier attitude about delivering the best possible design for the '80s I suppose. The Cavalier was the basis of one of the greatest crimes in recent automotive history though.
 In 1982 Cadillac decided to take its heralded luxury nameplate and shove it into a J-Body sausage casing, resulting in the Cimarron. Widely and famously known as the most egregious case of badge-engineering gone wrong, the Cimarron was obviously a Cavalier with a fancy grill & hood ornament. No matter if leather seats and sound deadening were a part of the package, the Cimarron's disguise didn't fool anyone. Cadillac barely slipped the cinderblock tied to its legs to come back to the surface.

This is the standard GM interior of the mid to late '80s. That pull-out door handle in its plastic square, the flat expanse of the dash and glove compartment, and the tall block housing the gearshift are all too common across the likes of Corsica, Lumina, Beretta, and Pontiac 6000. The factory stereo has a cassette delete in the form of a plastic cover even bigger than the cassette door would've been. This is the interior of my high school friends cars.

Looks like this frumper took a good knock to the jaw at some point, but it's still standing strong. Besides this spot the overall condition is pretty damn good for a 30+ year old car. Most GM products of this era have paint jobs that look like they reentered the atmosphere. This "color" is as boring as it gets, but it is intact.

Well there we have it: a pseudo sporty yawn on wheels from the deepest corner of the Malaise Era. Just for kicks I looked up the current values on this ride and found that it starts at $195 for salvage condition and makes its way up to $5,850 for an absolutely pristine, flawless, museum quality example. In reality there might be 2 mint examples of this ride on earth, and to the middle aged success story who had this as a first car the value might reach 15 or 20 grand (stranger things have happened). If you stumble upon one being sold by the relative of a recently deceased owner who kept it in the garage and serviced it at the dealer I say pick it up! Parts are easy to get, and it will turn as many heads as a Chevelle at most 2019 car shows. Mark my words oh Grumpy Baby Boomer: the J Body will have its day, just as easily as mid-'70s gas crunch rejects are having theirs today.

The First Sign of British Colonialism

THE FIRST SIGN OF BRITISH COLONIALISM
Watch out everybody - this is how it starts! First a Land Rover appears under a leafy tree, innocent enough. Soon they'll be running the Union Jack up the pole and making us pay alms to The Queen! If there was ever a vehicle better suited to worldwide colonization it was probably the elephant. Regardless - behold!

This is a 1989 Land Rover 90 Pickup in some aftermarket blue color (there were colors named Alaskan, Shire, and Ice Blue available but all were more subtle that this rich hue). This was a year before the Defender name was added and the 90 refers to the short wheelbase (the other model was the 4 door 110).

This cool little beach cruiser is one of the most capable off road vehicles in the world. First introduced in 1983, the 90 was the direct descendant of the Rover R01 from 1948. Those Series I, II, and III models of yore were actually the ones that explored the furthest reaches of the British Empire. This ride could follow in its predecessors footsteps, but with radio and air conditioning.

From here you can see the basic Jeep-like simplicity of this truck. The doors easily come off, and the windshield folds forward, making the height of this vehicle the tops of the seats. These white steel wheels are an aftermarket add-on. There were factory steelies available but there were less vent holes cut into them.

I absolutely love this thing!
The above image shows the metal divider between the front and rear halves, which identifies this as the Pickup. When the hardtop is installed the back corners are curved, with small wraparound windows.

With plain plywood lining the rear, a spare tire, and a propane tank this thing looks like it's ready for trails. The gravel guards over the lights are factory. Unlike the leather clad luxury Land Rovers of today these were ready to drive directly from the factory to the heart of a jungle.

Somehow this most rugged of off roaders always looks right at home in even the nicest neighborhoods. The biggest star in Hollywood could roll up to their premier in this ride and people would be vastly more impressed than if they stepped out of the newest Mercedes.

Those little pins on the hood are to mount the spare tire (which would preclude the windshield being able to fold down). In keeping with its bare bones origins origins there are flip out vents under the windshield that are just as basic as they look.

This ride is parked in Brooklyn at the site of the famous Battle of Gowanus from the Revolutionary War. The heroic Maryland 400* regiment suffered devastating losses while staying put to hold off the British troops so Washington could retreat to fight another day. If not for that battle and the bravery of the 400 the outcome of the war might have been different. Beware this first indicator of Colonialism when it reaches your streets! Brexit has the Brits licking their chops looking for fresh land, and the Land Rover is their foot in the door. Beware! Get Maryland on the horn stat!

*Legend has it that the fallen soldiers of the Maryland 400 were unceremoniously buried in a mass grave somewhere in the heart of Gowanus. There is a plaque commemorating one of the possible locations at the corner of 9th Street and 3rd Avenue, next to the American Legion. Unfortunately the area was historically marshland and swamp so pinpointing it has been impossible so far. Combine that with the real estate values and it's doubtful that there will ever be a definitive conclusion as to the location of the final resting place of the 400.

Ever see the end credits for Superbad?

THE OLDEST CAR I'VE EVER OWNED (YET)

I believe these pics were sent to me from the man on the street, Robin of Omaha. Somewhere under the BQE between Williamsburg and Greenpoint roosts the following XXX beauty:

This is a 1947 Dodge D24 Custom Town Sedan in what I think is Panama Sand. It is filthy and as a result has been festooned with penises. Somewhere out there is a person with a dirty mind and a dirtier finger, and for that I salute them!

Look at this big dumb mug.
This represents a slightly improved holdover from the pre-WWII years. From this angle we can see that the hood is hinged down the middle, with each side opening up like wings. The massive fenders are mostly separate from the body which would look ridiculously outdated within a couple years. Those big square turn signal lenses are made of thick glass with magnifying facets like those of a lighthouse light. These cars were 6 volt so the puny lights needed the extra help. 

There are no hubcaps on this side and even a donut on the back!
The Custom was the highest trim level of the D-24 series, with the Town Sedan being a specific body style. The easiest way to discern a Town Sedan is that the rear doors are hinged in the front whereas the other 4 door models had suicide doors in the rear. Another detail is that there is no rear quarter window behind the rear door which all other 4 doors had. Lastly the Town Sedan came on a wheelbase 18" longer than the others. Think of this as the modest mans limo.

The sheer amount of manhood somebody scribbled on this ride is incredible!
The trunk on this ride is so mighty that the spare tire stands upright to one side within. 

Looking good with wide white walls, hubcaps, and beauty rings on the driver's side! This beast is powered by the 230 inline 6 cylinder mated to a 3 speed standard transmission. A notable option for this era was the Fluid-Drive; a semi-automatic transmission where you didn't need the clutch to shift into 2nd or 3rd gears. If it were so equipped it would have Fluid-Drive in red script on the rear bumper.

Well that's where we'll leave this slumbering behemoth waiting for a bath.
The oldest car I ever owned was a 1947 Dodge. While driving through North Providence one day back in the '90s when I passed it sitting on a dirt lot with "$850 - runs" written on the windshield. I made my way to a pay phone (!) and dialed the number on the spot. The guy came down and it fired right up. After driving it around the lot a few times I went to the bank and gave him the 850. It was massive and handled like a dump truck but was equipped with Fluid Drive and was in really good condition actually. A few weeks into my brief ownership I lost the brakes completely on my way down a gentle hill (the pedal dropped to the floor like dropping a book on a table - NO brakes!). I slowly ran a red light on my way back to the friends driveway I was parking it at and managed to park it without issue. Realizing I was in over my head (in college without a garage or money) I sold it for what I paid for it to a local guy. They aren't worth much today but I still get nostalgic when I see one.

4Runner 4Ever!

LAST OF THE NORTHEAST 4RUNNERS FROM THE '80S
Today I'm featuring one of those common vehicles that quietly disappeared from the streets when no one was looking (hush up California, we know you still have every car ever made in that dry heat).

This is a 1987 Toyota 4Runner in White. I've got to give it up for Toyota as they had 3 different colors in '87 named White as well as a 4th named Super White. Who knows?

Take a good look people. This is the greatest vehicle ever made! Yes this one has a funky Japanese translation of a Blazer for a body but underneath it all lies the Basic Toyota Truck. Indestructible and reliable are two words that fit the '80s Toyota Trucks so perfectly that they should take those words out of circulation unless discussing one of these rigs.

Peppered with millions of dead insects and sand but this beast still looks eager to go wherever you point it. The license plate is mashed under the bumper because of course it is! This thing probably flattens a hedge every time it leaves a driveway.

This is essentially a pickup truck with a funky fiberglass rear roof section covering the bed. You can see the line behind the front door going across the roof where the metal cab and removable rear section meet. Between 1984-1986 many of the U.S. import models came with no rear seats. This allowed for a lower import tax as it was classified as a truck instead of an SUV.

Dents and bumps abound as they should on such a capable rig. That tall ride height is factory correct.

Making me swoon even more is the fact that this one is a stick shift. The engine is the legendary 22R-E 4 cylinder breathing through carburetors, proving that you don't need a massive V8 to conquer the Earth. The smaller gearshift controls the 4 wheel drive, high and low.

This atomic security sticker confirms what I suspected. The 213 area code is Los Angeles. Of course this isn't riddled with gaping rust holes!

These are tall inside and ride nice and high up. The rear wiper and washer fluid show you how often Toyota thought people would remove the top. I've only seen one or two ever with the roof off.

The glass goes down into the tailgate like a station wagon in this era. This setup would last until 2002 when the tailgate became a lift-up version hinged at the top.

I'll give it up for the unusual assortment of stickers. Look how '80s the emblem logo is on this ride with the 4 and R being integrated! After all this was the same year that brought us Robocop and Lethal Weapon.

This looks like such a threat to the clean green Honda in front of it. It's almost like this thing is taunting it for being too bougie.

The rear side windows are pretty weird. It wasn't until 1990 that the 4Runner would be offered as a 4 door. This is the first generation which was introduced in 1984.

You have to get out and manually lock the front hubs when engaging the 4 wheel drive.

Oh yeah baby she's been around! Beauty marks.

Well there you have it; a 30 year old off-roader that still looks ready for whatever you ask of it. Toyota trucks of the 1980s have long dissolved into dust in the Northeast. Thin metal with plenty of nooks and crannies for mud and salt to get lodged in did away with them. It's a shame though because I'm sure most of them drove until their frame cracked or people got tired of water splashing up at them through the floorboards. To see one in 2017 stopped me in my tracks and make me take notice. Maybe one day I'll have to pick one up in California and drive it back (leaving the masses of smog equipment elsewhere).
Hats off 4Runner owner! Wash it often during winter because, trust me.

Florida? Kanye? Who knows but look at this big Jag!

NATTY BRIT

'Neen from the Empire region was at it again, snapping these pics on her postal route. If you love cars and have friends/family who are letter carriers you're in luck. Behold!

This is a 1966-1968 Jaguar 420 in Laguna Beige. Below the inner right headlight is a faux horn grill added to break up the expanse of painted metal. Every 420 I've seen has one on each side so this is either an anomaly or one was missing and they elected to fill in the mounting holes when repainting the car at some point.

The proud, leaping Jaguar hood ornament mimics the overall shape of this ride nicely. Daimler made an identical car to this one and besides the hood ornament the only way to tell them apart is that the Daimler has a scalloped top of the grill.

Every inch of this car is rounded in stark contrast to the angular American cars of this era. I love the mirrors all the way up on the fenders.

In the sales literature they still bragged about the 420 being "assembled by craftsmen", and indeed they probably were. Total production over its 3 year run was a mere 10,236. To put that in perspective there were more than a million Chevy Impalas sold in 1965 alone!

Look at this big rounded baby. This ride is almost identical to the 420G, but the G has a full length chrome spear running down the side. Under that long hood resides the 4.2 liter inline 6 cylinder XK engine. It was plenty to move this large saloon around in traffic.

This looks to have the optional automatic transmission installed. Manual trans 4 doors were getting pretty scarce in the States so many imports were outfitted with an auto.

That diminutive chrome line running between the door handles finishes in one tiny pointed piece beyond the rear door. This makes me so happy because it is the first thing a company putting cost above style will cut. I'm also a big fan of the subtle indentation between the door handles and the window glass as it wraps around the corner.

Even the rear window shape is rounded and irregular. Looks like there was a parking knock to the right side bumper guard. That's what it's there for!

They're easy to miss but the reverse lights are incorporated into the trunk lock/license plate light assembly. Check out how awesome the font is in the word JAGUAR between the reverse lights.

The rear of this ride is identical to the earlier Jaguar S-Type which was sold from 1963 through 1968. The major difference is that the S-Type had a nose as rounded as the rear where the 420 has that pronounced, forward leaning face.

We've got a house for sale with a big classic car resting on half-inflated tires (pardon me, tyres). Not to read into it too much but this is the time to strike if you've always wanted one! Often a well-timed knock on the right door will free up a car for much less than if they take the trouble to list it. Take it from someone who bought a near-perfect '74 Cadillac for $285.

Ever heard of Knock-Off Wheels? Well these are they, named as such because you take a mallet and literally knock that center spinner to unscrew it. Real-deal spinners are quintessentially British like everything on this fine ride.

The rear quarter windows pop out for ventilation. Look how lovely the mechanical opener and hinge are!

That is real-deal soft leather, probably so comfortable that it would be dangerous to drive at night. British cars of this era had the finest hides hand stitched and they age beautifully.
By the way that is real walnut along the window. The same wood is used on the dashboard and will polish up nicely.

Well there we have it; a nicely presented natty Brit ready to burn up some petrol on the motorway. In the grand scheme of things these rides are undervalued, especially in the States. They aren't complicated mechanically (though you'll have to keep the dual carbs in tune) and offer a very comfortable drive. As with other British cars of yore the electrical system is the weak spot, to the point where I highly recommend keeping a fire extinguisher on hand when driving one. Still you've be hard pressed to find a classier ride for the money. Ebay currently has 3 listed; one for a grand, one for just over 10, and a flashy yellow one looking brand new for just under 20. Considering that VW buses are trading in the 6 figures these days with no heat or comfort this would be a cool ride.