Fratzogs by Night

Fratzogs by Night

I've had a list of drafts from well over a year ago sitting in the queue waiting for me to dust off this blog. Some of the photos are 2 years old or more and generations of phones ago. The pics below I believe were sent to me from Robin of Omaha. Behold the nighttime Hooptie!

This is a 1965 Dodge Coronet 440 in Medium Turquoise Poly. It's easy to pinpoint the '65 because both the year before and the year after this one had a center divider splitting the grill.
There are a couple details I love on the front of this ride. First are the Fratzogs (a made-up word for the triangular symbol used by Mopar through the '60s) mounted above the outer headlights. The second detail is that only the section between the inboard headlights is actually a functioning grill. All the small slat openings around the headlights are black paint!

Most Coronet 440s were equipped with V8 engines. The base was a 2 barrel 318, but you had the option of a 361, 383, or the mighty 426 Hemi for the first time. Customers who chose the Hemi had the option of dual 4 barrel carbs and a floor mounted 4 speed manual! Chances are that this ride has the pushbutton automatic mounted on the dash next to the radio.

This handsome piece of side trim was only on the mid level 440 series. The base model had a chrome line that ran lower along the body from the rear of the front wheel opening to the back of the car. The top of the heap 500 had a thin chrome spear along the full length of the car with 3 colored rectangles at the front. These are the correct, original hubcaps for the car by the way.

It's tough to see in the above dark lighting but this is equipped with reverse lights. They weren't standard on the base Coronet but they were included on the 440.

We'll leave this beast with an admiring view of the gargantuan trunk.
4 door sedans are the least sexy, least valuable classics to get, but they tend to live gentler lives. This is the quintessential family car, possibly surviving because some nice old lady garaged it for decades. Mopars from the 1960s are famously reliable and easy to work on. If you run across one of these in good condition for cheap you might have the perfect classic daily driver on your hands.

There goes the neighborhood

POSSIBLY THE GRUBBIEST CAR I'VE EVER SEEN

I was strolling along next to Prospect Park a few weeks ago when a great dark cloud sucked the sun out of the sky. What wrath was about to befall our great city? Behold the horror of Windsor Terrace!

This is a 1970 Cadillac Sedan DeVille in Bayberry Green. It is in truly horrific condition throughout. Astonishingly it has a matching set of plates and current registration & inspection stickers in the windshield. Who is the mechanic who put their certification on the line in approving this heap?

I can't blame the public for shoving garbage in the mouth of this behemoth.

This is as close as you can get and still imagine this as a usable car.

I started this blog way back when with a 4 door green Cadillac that was beaten almost to death in the East Village, yet somebody kept driving it. I'm going back to my roots with this thing.

AAAAAGGHHH!!!!!

What is this nightmare?! Some lady asked me "Is this your car?" while I was snapping these pics. A small laugh escaped my lips in the "you must be joking" ilk before I managed: "No. NO! My god does anybody actually own this?"

She said yes indeed and it makes it across the street for alternate side parking regulations every week!

I love big old Cadillacs. My grandparents kept a steady supply of these enormous brutes going from their hands down through the family tree when I was young. My father had a '74 Eldorado. I had a '74 Coupe DeVille in high school. Even I can't find a single redeeming quality about this ride.

When you get closer it just gets worse. I think you could actually kick this car to pieces in 10 minutes or so if you didn't mind getting it all over your shoes.
I've been on the receiving end of some highly questionable inspection stickers in the past but this car really takes the cake. If your horn or reverse lights don't work you can always claim they went out that very morning if you get pulled over, especially with an old car. Maybe this would pass in the lights and brakes department but the suspension looks seriously saggy. Mostly though this is a rolling red flag if I ever saw one. If this were a building it would be condemned. 

Let's squint hard for a second and try to look at the original design. These pointed taillights are some of my favorite from Caddy history, second only to the '59 fins a la Ecto-1.

This thing needs a toupee stat. When vinyl roofing has an opening moisture can get underneath and wreak havoc on the metal. There are at least two holes in the roof itself above the passenger side front.

This has the GM Halo version of the vinyl roof where a strip of body colored metal surrounds the edge above the windshield and side windows. Dig the sheer scale of the trunk in this pic!

Looks like she's sporting 3 out of 4 Buick hubcaps from around the same era. I'm a fan of how massive these front bumpers are where they go back far enough to outline the wheel well.

Somewhere behind all that mouth trash lies a 472 V8 good for 375 horsepower from the factory. A showroom stock Coupe de Ville placed 3rd in the real life Cannonball Run with this same engine. It managed the highest overall average speed of 85mph too. These cars can really move despite their size.

Well that's where we'll back away from this frightening vision. People love to bemoan the loss of "old New York" and claim that the more run down version was their favorite. To those folks I suggest they go down to Prospect Park Southwest around 11th Avenue in Windsor Terrace. Cars like this used to be burned out and abandoned all over the city. Enjoy your lunch leaning against a big fender before depositing your litter in the grill for a trip down memory lane.

Escape Machine

ESCAPE MACHINE

I was walking around the area of Grand Army Plaza in Brooklyn when I saw this unlikely survivor in great shape:

This is a 1970 Oldsmobile Delta 88 Custom in Viking Blue Poly. Oldsmobile called all of the vehicles in their 1970 lineup Escape Machines. As large and in charge as this ride is it was still just the midsize offering from Olds in '70 with the colossal 98 being the flagship.

This is the standard 4 door car of the day positioned between Buick and Pontiac in the GM hierarchy. Power comes from either 350 or 455 V8 engines mated to an automatic transmission (the 4 speed manual was discontinued after '67 for the Delta 88). This ride was built in the same year that the Environmental Protection Agency was established which would go on to control the amount of pollution automobiles produce. However in '70 the engines were free-breathing without emissions controls and exhaust went through mufflers whose only purpose was to lower the volume. 

The panel fit is pretty bad on this ride as shown by the hood gap. This car gives the impression of being used as a daily driver parked on the streets even though it is in great overall condition.

There are aftermarket doodads on this ride I don't agree with like the wheels and that cheesy wing. The lines are great though with the flared fenders from the factory and integrated bumpers.  The lack of side trim going down the middle of the body makes for a clean look.

Like any veteran of the city streets this has an anti theft device. There is a heavy duty metal collar padlocked around the steering column holding the gearshift in place. We can see from this angle that the climate control systems are out of reach from the passengers. Cadillac had similar placement.

The vinyl roof is in perfect condition which is remarkable for a 46 year old ride. I'm guessing this spent its first few decades in a garage somewhere.

Somebody gave this beast a good knock, taking out the taillight in the process. I suppose the 3 is for the late Nascar racer Dale Earnhardt Jr. but it's not the correct 3. Who cares?

This is the pillared sedan where the door frame goes around the windows. There was also a 4 door hardtop where the opening would be unobstructed when the front and rear windows were down but they lack the rich chrome surrounds that this model has. From this angle you can see the rectangular pattern of the seat leather.

That's where we'll leave this blue beast. This is a 1 year only design as the '71 ushered in a different front where there was a pointed prow on each side between the headlights. The year before this had the headlights contained within the grill openings. 

To see a non-sexy body style like this standard 4 door sedan in great shape is curious in the States but that's not true around the world. In Australia and New Zealand 4 door sedans make up most of the classic muscle cars. Here in the U.S. convertibles, hardtop coupes, and station wagons are all more valuable and sought after than sedans, but that's what makes this one special. If you want a usable classic and one of these comes up for sale you can rest assured that all parts are still available and the price ought to be reasonable.

Shiny 62 from 62

Flashy Wrapper Got His Eye Knocked Out

For those of you who haven't seen it, that is my wine shop with the burgundy awning on the corner behind this ride. After seeing this shiny beast parked a mile away for the past year it showed up one day while I was looking out the window! Time for a tune up I suppose as that's no body shop.

What we have here is a 1962 Cadillac Series 62, otherwise known as the Sedan De Ville. The entire body is wrapped in a chrome-look advertisement for vehicle wraps, but I remember a time when it was what I believe to be Newport Blue.

This poor Caddy took one hell of a knock to the front, and I think it happened where it's been parked for the past year. When I first saw this car it was blue and for sale for under $3,000. Before I could talk myself into trouble it was sold and repurposed as a billboard. Since then it has been parked on busy 4th Avenue in front of a gas station. It's hard to tell which direction this damage came from.

I will be inadvertently plugging their company even though it's a damn shame this sweet ride was taken out of circulation. This is a true hardtop sedan, meaning that when the front and rear windows are down there's no pillar in between.

Cadillacs were spectacular spaceships from around '57 through the end of the '60s, with each year sporting some design change. Grills, taillights, and fin treatments all evolved annually.

I was only able to get a faded glimpse of the interior due to the limo tint. Seats remarkably intact, dash and gauges all present, coat hangers and wire cutters in the house.

The fins would remain on the rear ends of Caddys long after their competition forfeited. The one thing I've always loved about the '62 (and '61) Cadillac is that there was a lower set of fins to match the uppers! I was surprised to learn that those lower fins have a name; they are called steegs.

This is ready to launch into outer space!

I believe the brakes light up both the top and bottom lights on these (with red bulbs behind clear lenses below). The turn signals may only be on the top.

Before getting smashed up this car was in fine shape. 

At this point in history Cadillac was at the top of the luxury car market with few peers (the Imperial and Rolls Royce being a couple). This beast has 3 ashtrays in it, each with its own lighter! One in each rear door armrest, and a large center unit in the from with the lighter in between 2 individual receptacles, all in one pull-out drawer. Each would also have a small metal tab for extinguishing your smoke, and the lighters were cigar sized (of course).

I suppose we'd better get the trunk portion of the conversation out of the way. It starts somewhere between the rear wheel and window, going all the way back to the bumper. Massive and deep, this thing carries a full size spare tire on the rim without getting in the way of whatever it is you need to haul around. 8 adults, a bank safe, dining room table, etc.

This poor old girl is still wearing her original hubcaps and fat white walls. I'm hopeful that someone will actually fix it up before rust creeps along the damaged parts.

That lens between the bumper and fender is not a turn signal, but rather a cornering lamp. When the turn signal was used the corresponding cornering lamp would light up the area where you were turning, something very handy in a massive ride. Probably saved a lot of garage corners.

My guess is that the pieces of wrapping material they were using weren't quite vast enough to cover the hood and trunk in an unbroken stretch, so they used these black edges. Likewise the stripes on the hood make me wonder if they're covering up a seam.

A 390 V8 lurks behind this grill, along with enough sound deadening insulation to make you forget you're driving. Likewise the suspension for these cruisers is akin to a ship on moderate swells; speed bumps can be seen but barely felt. Power steering was famously so sensitive that you could drive with a single finger on the wheel.

I've said it before and I'll say it again; the streets of Brooklyn are littered with old Cadillacs. However this is the first '62 I've seen so after ignoring it for a couple years I figured it needed its due.

Show Car Sunday returns with the Corvallis Comet!

WELL DRESSED MAVERICK

I was visiting my sister in Oregon last year when we drove past this astonishing little anomaly:

This is a 1972 Mercury Comet in White. The reason I call it an anomaly is that it is a compact car wearing a luxury nameplate. This is an in-the-family case of badge engineering (where a car company puts their own name on another brand of car and sells it through their dealership). With the exception of the grill and taillights this is 100% Ford Maverick.

Kind of quirky, kind of frumpy, with a Coke bottle body and staggered door handles, this ride sums up the awkward period between '60s and '70s design. Most domestic cars of this era were gargantuan so I have to hand it to Ford/Mercury for their timeliness in producing this just in time for the gas crisis.

The seam below that side marker light has just the faintest of gentle wear leading me to believe this car is totally original. The condition is flat-out incredible!

Inside looks just as perfect as the outside, with the original Manston Cloth and Vinyl seats letting us know that this is the Deluxe Comet. By the way that's Corinthian Vinyl according to the brochure, years before Ricardo Montalban was crowing about Fine Corinthian Leather in the Cordoba. Wikipedia claims that Corinthian Leather was a made up term from an ad agency in 1974 for Chrysler, but I'm reading it in a 1972 Mercury brochure so who knows?
 Gotta love the insanely optimistic 120mph speedometer!

Oh yeah baby this is white tie all the way! That class you're sensing through the screen is due to the Exterior Decor Group option; fancy hubcaps, chrome trim around the windows and vinyl roof, shiny rocker panels, and a "deluxe gas cap" are all included. I have zero idea what is special about the gas cap.

It is pretty well proportioned, and claims to be able to ferry 5 adults and a pile of luggage no sweat.

I was half convinced that this car was a faint green, but I think it's just the indirect lighting messing with my eyes. It is a warm white, as far as whites go.

I love these trapezoidal taillight pods! These could be found on other Mercurys as well; the Montego and mighty Cyclone both shared this taillight treatment. Ford did this too, with taillights from the Maverick being identical to the Pinto, pickup trucks, and vans of the '70s.

Chances are that this car is equipped with an inline-6 cylinder either in 170cc or 200cc sizes. The smaller engine put out a woeful 82 horsepower while the larger of the sixes was rated at 91. There was a 302 V8 option but even that was only good for 138hp!

Just like its Ford cousins this compact looks like a shrunken version of its full-size siblings. The large LTD and Montego both had the swooping body lines and read door handles higher than those in front. If anything the 4 doors are more balanced as the 2 door versions were all hood.

Witness the luxury of the superior Mercury trim! That bright metal headlight surround, target turn signal in its own housing, and chrome horizontal grill bar are exclusive to the Merc.

This is what your additional $203 got you. Brand new the sticker price for the Comet was $2,398 vs $2,195 for the Maverick. Good luck getting your transmission fixed for that much these days!

Well that's about it for what might be the nicest '72 Mercury Comet on the planet. The moderate Oregon climate helps preserve cars somewhat but this must've been in a garage most of its life. I'd happily drive it even though it looks like a child dressed in a suit. As slow as it is though you'd be forced to lay back and cruise, but that's what Sundays are all about.
*Last but not least I had to include this old ad featuring the Gay Space Craft!