I ran across a Faded Player recently . . .

FADED PLAYER

I was walking through the Northern end of Bay Ridge the other day when this well chewed blob of bubble gum made its presence known:

Okay, alright, there was once something to work with here.

This is a 1982 Ford Mustang GT in what might be a very faded Medium Red. The GT had special colors and the Medium Red leaned in this raspberry bubble gum direction but this also might be a flashy custom color from the go-go '80s.

This hood scoop does nothing at all. If the sun weren't so bright you'd see that it's blocked off with a body-colored panel. That Mustang emblem in front of it was a foggy as it looks in this pic.

The GT took over where the Mustang Cobra left off the year before. From '79-'81 the most powerful Mustang engine available was a turbocharged 4 cylinder! The V8 from '80-'81 was a smaller 4.2 liter 255 which got better gas milage than the classic 302 V8 of the previous decade. Our feature car today  brought the return of the famous 5.0 302 V8.

The GT has a great look with a special front spoiler and air dam, that mini faux scoop, and a wing on the rear. This was a cusp model bridging the gap between the first Fox Body Mustangs in '79 and the redesigned next step for the Fox in 1983. After the '83 redesign (more of a minor tinkering than a complete overhaul) this basic design carried all the way through the decade and into the early '90s.

Definitely trust the milage quoted by the seller of every classic car, especially when the dashboard has been completely torn to shreds! This dash has been WORKED; look at the hole smashed into the top in the middle. The dash pad, face, and vents have all been torn out. I can see that this is a stick shift though which makes this one fun car to drive.

Here's the 3/4 view of this hatchback pony. The dimensions are tidy for a rear wheel drive V8 sports car. Beginning in 1983 a convertible would be available for the first time in 9 years. Those are Mustang rims from a slightly newer car.

A single out of state plate is holding this thing down while the cops and tow trucks pass it by. Does this really look like a Vermont car? Can you imagine driving this thing in any amount of snow? Might as well sit on a diner stool and swivel in a circle.

D & D Autoworks had their hand in this beasts creation many moons ago as you can see from the faded lettering next to the trunk lock.

As munchy and weathered as this thing is it is standing up at the proper height with all its lighting and glass intact. Besides scuffs and scrapes there are no major dents to be found, and just a few rust spots are staring to creep.

Well that's where I'll back away from this '80s tough guy vision.

The 5.0 Mustangs of the decade were crazy popular and filled the streets when I was in high school. They remain affordable and are very easy to work on with parts availability second to none. If you want an easy classic to take to shows or just roll around in for summer you could do a lot worse.

Kevin McHale's sweet limo? Obviously

KEVIN McHALE'S SWEET LIMO? OBVIOUSLY

Contributor Max recently sent the following pics from the corner of Avenue C and 14th Street in Manhattan. The backdrop of the first pic is the Con Edison facility that found itself completely submerged during Hurricane Sandy, causing everything below 34th Street to be without power for almost a week. This hooptie represents the last remaining damage:

Gawd look at this beat down Frankenstein ride. The grill is red with the blood of its enemies! The bumper has been painted black and fitted with some fog lamps. As far as the flat black sections between the grill and lights and the hood, and along the top of the fenders I can only imagine this has been in some front end collisions and repaired as needed on the cheap. the CELT 32 plate means this is definitely owned by "one of the NBA's 50 greatest players" Kevin McHale of the Boston Celtics. Nobody said life after basketball would be easy, player!

I'm late with the information but this is a 1993/1994 Lincoln Town Car. Anyone who's been anywhere near NYC knows that these were ubiquitous as the T&LC black car limos. While they started out more luxurious than the yellow cabs they were driven just as much, routinely clocking 500,000 miles or more before either being cannibalized for parts or sold at auction. The upside for buying a vehicle like this is that you can get parts anywhere in the city and even major repairs like a transmission change can be done on the spot by dozens of 24/7 taxi repair shops.
Shout-out to the half landau roof and big sunroof! 

The back has been curiously bedazzled with a wolf head above the Flag of Ireland flanked by red stripes on the window. Red tape striping has shown up above the taillights as well as the lower trunk lip. This bumper was also spray painted black (as was the entire lower half of the car it looks like!) except for the bottom which is bright red. Quad exhaust tips and triple antennas round out the mayhem.
Well that's that: a New York City icon repping a Boston icon by way of Ireland by way of New Jersey. If there were ever a hooptie you could park anywhere in the 5 boroughs without worry this is it. Like anything used ruthlessly and discarded they may indeed become rare as time goes by. When was the last time you saw a Checker?

400th post Super Hooptie!

JOSEPH AND THE TECHNICOLOR NIGHTMARE COAT

This is my 400th installment of the Hoopties blog and to commemorate I've selected a real beauty. With any luck I'll be cobbling together posts for another few years but for now get the Vision ready:

Blech!
At some point back in history this was a 1967 Pontiac Catalina in (I think) Montreaux Blue Poly. Throughout the decades it has morphed into something more horrific; a patchwork quilt of childrens nightmares. If you squint just right the paint job looks like a deep blue sky with white puffy clouds and the red streaks of the End Times taking hold. Ladies and gentlemen; this car is the last page of Revelation.

Historical indeed! This thing has eyes dangling in broken sockets and scars all over its face. The admittedly huge bumper has earned its keep with evidence of a mighty uppercut and a massive body blow folding in into the fender.

It wears a Dodge hubcap like a serial killer keeping trophies of its victims. There is no side mirror on the door because who cares? When you pilot this wreck you're living in a post-turn signal and mirror society. If the brake lights work at all it's by sheer accident.

There's patina and then there's THIS.
Pontiac got its name from the war chief Pontiac of the Odawa tribe. He fought against the British occupation of the Great Lakes region and was effective enough that the war is known as Pontiac's War (1763-1766). It began when Chief Pontiac lead 300 warriors to take Fort Detroit by surprise. I don't mean to blaspheme too hard but this car: A. Looks like it was in a war, and B. looks like Detroit was caught by surprise mid-build.

This picture hurts me deeply and I took it. That futuristic green wheel looks as if this slab either traveled to space or back to ancient Egypt and brought back a bronze medallion. Ancient Aliens made this car.
*Big shout out to the person holding the black Krylon can when inspiration struck! Continuing the window line down to the wheel well is sweet. By "wheel well" I mean the rough opening where some bear chewed through the body.

Somebody warn that VW in front of it, or maybe it's too late!

These frowning bulldog jowl taillights are a true favorite of mine, lest I forget to add that I love this car. I distinctly remember trailing behind a blue '68 Bonneville convertible on a Rhode Island highway doing 80mph that had these exact taillights. I fell into a multi-year crush on that year make & model that day.

This massive fastback design would only last a few years in full size GM cars. In 1967 there wasn't a single thought to excess so the fact that this is a 2 door coupe on a gargantuan scale was normal.

It's so hard to look directly at the colors of this thing. I feel like I need to adjust the settings.

I've said it before but this thing is YUGE. From the door forward it looks like any big '60s car. Somehow the sloping rear that goes on forever accentuates the grandeur for me.

Fuzzy dice? Really? Is this set up for cruise night or something?
The ashtray being pulled out I get. Hopefully the driver of this goes through a carton of Winstons just getting to the remaining OTB outposts in New Jersey.
This example is outfitted with a bench seat covered in human skin and a column shift transmission. There was a version of this body style called the 2+2 that had front and rear bucket seats as well as a console. Those are rare and plenty sought after.
*I feel the need to point out that this car does not have 2 factory radios even though it looks it. The climate controls were done in a way that makes them seem identical.

Once the silver bullet has pierced the werewolf heart or a wooden stake has claimed the vampire you get a fleeting glimpse of the original person before they expire. I'm reminded of that from this angle where you can just make out the original Catalina trapped inside. 

I feel like I do this every time I post a Pontiac from the bird beak front era, but here goes:

Head of Pontiac design 1966-1982.

Since this post was short on detail and long on hyperbole let me close out by stating that this car came with either a 400 or 428 V8. The base 400 with 2 barrel was rated at 290 Horsepower, but there were various options that would push the hp as high as 376. Even with 6 adults trapped inside this thing could get up and go with the best of them.
As for me I've somehow never owned a Pontiac even though they are my favorite domestic make (or were but let's not bother with the final decade or so before GM pulled the plug). I even like Pontiacs that I should feel foolish about liking such as the early-to-mid '80s 6000, Sunbird, Astre, and Grand Am. Someday when I have a parking spot in my life I'll unlock that achievement but for now I'll be happy finding things like this wreck in the wild.

There goes the neighborhood

POSSIBLY THE GRUBBIEST CAR I'VE EVER SEEN

I was strolling along next to Prospect Park a few weeks ago when a great dark cloud sucked the sun out of the sky. What wrath was about to befall our great city? Behold the horror of Windsor Terrace!

This is a 1970 Cadillac Sedan DeVille in Bayberry Green. It is in truly horrific condition throughout. Astonishingly it has a matching set of plates and current registration & inspection stickers in the windshield. Who is the mechanic who put their certification on the line in approving this heap?

I can't blame the public for shoving garbage in the mouth of this behemoth.

This is as close as you can get and still imagine this as a usable car.

I started this blog way back when with a 4 door green Cadillac that was beaten almost to death in the East Village, yet somebody kept driving it. I'm going back to my roots with this thing.

AAAAAGGHHH!!!!!

What is this nightmare?! Some lady asked me "Is this your car?" while I was snapping these pics. A small laugh escaped my lips in the "you must be joking" ilk before I managed: "No. NO! My god does anybody actually own this?"

She said yes indeed and it makes it across the street for alternate side parking regulations every week!

I love big old Cadillacs. My grandparents kept a steady supply of these enormous brutes going from their hands down through the family tree when I was young. My father had a '74 Eldorado. I had a '74 Coupe DeVille in high school. Even I can't find a single redeeming quality about this ride.

When you get closer it just gets worse. I think you could actually kick this car to pieces in 10 minutes or so if you didn't mind getting it all over your shoes.
I've been on the receiving end of some highly questionable inspection stickers in the past but this car really takes the cake. If your horn or reverse lights don't work you can always claim they went out that very morning if you get pulled over, especially with an old car. Maybe this would pass in the lights and brakes department but the suspension looks seriously saggy. Mostly though this is a rolling red flag if I ever saw one. If this were a building it would be condemned. 

Let's squint hard for a second and try to look at the original design. These pointed taillights are some of my favorite from Caddy history, second only to the '59 fins a la Ecto-1.

This thing needs a toupee stat. When vinyl roofing has an opening moisture can get underneath and wreak havoc on the metal. There are at least two holes in the roof itself above the passenger side front.

This has the GM Halo version of the vinyl roof where a strip of body colored metal surrounds the edge above the windshield and side windows. Dig the sheer scale of the trunk in this pic!

Looks like she's sporting 3 out of 4 Buick hubcaps from around the same era. I'm a fan of how massive these front bumpers are where they go back far enough to outline the wheel well.

Somewhere behind all that mouth trash lies a 472 V8 good for 375 horsepower from the factory. A showroom stock Coupe de Ville placed 3rd in the real life Cannonball Run with this same engine. It managed the highest overall average speed of 85mph too. These cars can really move despite their size.

Well that's where we'll back away from this frightening vision. People love to bemoan the loss of "old New York" and claim that the more run down version was their favorite. To those folks I suggest they go down to Prospect Park Southwest around 11th Avenue in Windsor Terrace. Cars like this used to be burned out and abandoned all over the city. Enjoy your lunch leaning against a big fender before depositing your litter in the grill for a trip down memory lane.

A fox dressing up like a Cougar

FORGOTTEN FOX FOOTNOTE

First of all this represents the first time I was run off of someones property for snapping some pics of languishing cars! I've been asked to not take pics and move along please while standing on city streets (and I do for that matter as there are plenty of cars out there) but this guy came running across the street yelling and screaming. For a moment I thought he was going to take a swing at me! He cooled off eventually as I insisted that I meant no harm and wasn't touching anything. He asked that I not post where the cars were (or put them online but I didn't agree to that). This "private property" is literally the 20 foot stretch of ground between the curb and what looked to be a defunct used car office with no signs or chains warning the curious. Without further ado:

This scaly misbegotten wreck is a 1979-1982 Mercury Capri in Dark Blue Poly. This is the mostly forgotten upscale cousin to the Fox Body Mustangs of the '80s. As with most of their shared products from the '70s onward the Mercury is just a touch classier and more well appointed than the Ford.
I think the front looks great with its horizontal bar grill and upright headlight pods. The Mustang of this era had a slanted front and an eggcrate grill.

The paint on the hood is revealing the beginnings of the universe as the clear coat peels away. In 2016 paint has pretty much been perfected. Sure your car can rust out from beneath but this sort of horrific surrender is the hallmark of cars built from about '79-'99. The reason behind this is that EPA regulations made certain old style paint chemicals illegal so the automakers had to comply with more eco-friendly products. Unfortunately the learning curve with these new paints was steep. The problem was so bad that for a brief time Ford agreed to repaint any F-150 trucks of the era. Overwhelmed by demand they cancelled it quick and just covered their ears.

We can see some mid-'80s Ford Mustang wheels on this ride. The fender flares are Capri-specific which I think is a shame as they look fantastic. Subtle details make this a very different car than the Mustang.

Here is the easiest way to see that this Capri is from '79-'82: the hatchback has a flat rear window that looks pretty standard. From 1983 on they had a large bubble window that was very distinctive. In concert with the rear bubble window the taillights from '83 on were recessed a bit into the rear panel.

Dig the horizontal bars on the rear lights giving continuity to the overall design with the grill in the front.

Interior looks pretty basic from here; auto trans with that puny Ford T-handle shifter, sporty steering wheel that first heralded from the Mustang II, no optional console, and no A/C (there would be an upright rectangular vent between the heater controls and the gauges). As you can just glimpse here the rear seat folds flat offering up decent storage space.

Like the Mustang these could be ordered with any number of drivetrain combinations from a small 4 cylinder in regular and turbo form, inline and V 6 cylinders, and large 5.0 V8s in varying levels of output.
I have a friend who had one of these in high school that was black '83 with heavily tinted windows, the V8, and a 5-speed. The car was fun to drive for sure. I seem to remember all the gauges lighting up orange at night.
Well there you have it; a gentlemans Mustang with tons of available parts that's uncommon enough to make people stop and ask questions. If you want a reliable classic that's totally usable in everyday traffic but more unique that the standard 5.0 Vanilla Ice was so proud of this is a good bet. If you want TRULY rare try to hunt down a Mercury LN7 - their 2 seat version of the Ford EXP with a bubble back window like the '83-'86 Capri. I have never seen one in person!